Some Great Riding Still Not Open

May 25th, 2020
Independence Pass

Don’t go heading for Independence Pass just yet, it’s not open.

The RMMRC was planning a ride over Guanella Pass last week and I was very much inclined to go. But the day was extremely windy and that dampened my enthusiasm. I’ve been out on days when it was windy in town, and when I got to the high country, especially above timber line, it was howling. That’s not my idea of fun, and I ended up not going.

Well, I haven’t had the opportunity to talk to anyone who did go but the next day I read in the Denver Post that Guanella was not open yet. OK. Did they find that out when they got to Grant? Or when they got near the top? Or did they get over despite it being officially closed? I’m curious to find out.

This tied in very conveniently with a post I was already planning, which was to check out the status of all of the larger Colorado roads that close in winter. Here’s what CDOT, the Colorado Department of Transportation, has to say.

Trail Ridge Road through Rocky Mountain National Park is closed for the season and will remain closed until further notice due to ongoing Covid-19 concerns. To hear updated road status please call the Trail Ridge Status Line at 970-586-1222.

Independence Pass. Closed for the season. (OK, does that mean it closed last fall and is not yet open? Are they not going to open it at all this year? I find that doubtful. CDOT could be more helpful here. But the Post article said it will open on June 1.)

Cottonwood Pass. Same. The Denver Post also says this will open on June 1.

Guanella Pass. Same. The Post says to be opened at a date to be determined.

Mount Evans Highway. To be determined.

Pikes Peak. Is expected to be open to the top as of June 1.

So the bottom line here is, check before you go. Don’t count on things opening up at the time they usually do. But I tell you, once it does open I really want to do Cottonwood Pass. They finally got it paved all the way last year and I have not been on it since they were done. This is number one on my list.

Biker Quote for Today

If the countryside seems boring, stop, get off your bike, and go sit in the ditch long enough to appreciate what was here before the asphalt came.

How To Run A Motorcycle Club

May 21st, 2020

Robert

Sorry for the crappy photo, but it was the best I had on hand. That’s Robert on the left.

You’re probably very much aware of the standard format for a motorcycle club: You hold regular meetings that are as much about being social as conducting business; you organize some rides; and you organize other social gatherings. That’s fine as far as it goes, but might there be a better model?

I’ve been a member of the Rocky Mountain Motorcycle Riders Club for about three years ago and after Robert became president this year things have really changed. I was talking to him about it recently.

To Robert’s way of thinking, the main thing a motorcycle club should do is ride. Forget all these social gatherings. You can still do that but aren’t we really there to ride? The RMMRC has always organized impromptu rides but that involved someone making a plan and then letting people know about that plan in some way. That included emails but also phone calls, i.e., labor intensive.

Things are a little different now. We still have the meetings–or try to in this pandemic era–and the planned cross-country rides, but the focus is more on impromptu rides, and a lot of them. What has facilitated this was moving the club website to Meetup.com. Now, anyone who has an idea for a ride can post it, anyone who is signed up gets an email alerting them, and then whoever shows up goes for a ride. We’re averaging one or two rides per week now. THAT is a motorcycle club.

Plus, there are other benefits. Eliminating the cost of a dedicated website, the group’s membership fee has been cut in half. Putting the rides out there on Meetup gets the word out to other people who are free to show up, and once they do they often sign up, which means membership is rising.

Thanks to the coronavirus many of the planned, longer rides for this year are being canceled or adjusted, but boy do we go riding a lot! Heck, I’m thinking that once Pikes Peak and Mount Evans open for the season I’ll organize this Tale of Two Mountains ride I’ve been wanting to do for several years. It couldn’t be easier.

Biker Quote for Today

You know you’re a biker if you think ‘Helmet Hair’ is a fashion statement.

More Danger Ahead (Or Above, Or Off To The Side)

May 18th, 2020
motorcycles on the highway

Sure, the road is clear now. But what’s around that curve?

OK, it has been quite awhile since I have done an update on this perennial thread, flying objects or objects on the road. These come from a thread on the Adventure Rider forum.

  • Eels. Some time ago in south east Australia, wriggling across the road. I missed them. Could have been a slippery collision. I thought the first one was just a snake, until I saw a few more. It was raining and apparently these ones live in freshwater but migrate to the Coral Sea to breed.
  • I nearly hit a Red Kite that was swooping down onto a road kill. The bird was so focused on the kill, that it did not see me until the last moment, then it looked straight into my eyes, and scooped the dead rabbit up with one talon, all the time staring me in the eyes, as it started to gain height, I had to duck down to avoid the hit, as I passed just under it.
  • Was following a light truck in the middle lane which I couldn’t see around and I like to be able to see beyond the car in front of me for safety. On the right of me was a fully loaded semi truck which we had both just passed. With just enough distance between the light truck in front of me and the semi in the right lane, I went to switch to the right lane in front of the semi. Unfortunately, there was a steel stool with the legs sticking up about 18″ right where the lane markers are which I baaaaarely missed.
  • About 40 years ago, Kawasaki vertical twin, M4 in England on a sunny morning after a freezing night. About an inch-thick of ice lifted off the top of a container truck in front of me, 40 feet by 8 feet. I saw it lifting and braked onto the shoulder. Cars behind, not so lucky.
  • 100 yards behind an 18 wheeler with empty flatbeds that had heavy plywood inserts in its trailers.
    I saw the wind pick up the edge of one of the inserts and as the wind caught it I watched flip up high into the air.
    In a split second I ducked as it flew over my helmet.
  • A Christmas tree. It was standing in the middle of my driving lane.
  • Whilst riding through some of the most beautiful New Zealand scenery early one winters morning just out of Queenstown a sheep fell from an 40-50 foot cliff and landed on my handle bars sending me and my new Suzuki GT750 down the road.
  • Still when young and stupid — had to get out of a situation by riding through unfamiliar college campus at night on sidewalks at high speed. Hit a 3ft stone wall. That was the end of the KLR.
  • Almost had a skunk strike me in the chest …… truck in front of me ran over the skunk and kicked it up, twirling and spraying headed right at me …… it veered off at the last second.
  • A small tractor. I’m in slow lane, and keep seeing sparks from under the car in front of me; I’m back prolly 150 feet. Figured it was a chain from the trailer being towed in front of him, but could not quite see. Guy pulls out to pass the trailer – too close – maybe 2 car lengths between them. I see the chain dragging and bouncing from a trailer loaded with crap – furniture? Odd shaped stuff? Tarps flapping. And a black mass at the rear – can not really make it out. I punch it to go around the trailer, and as I get closer the chain starts sparking more. Get about 50 feet from it … and the black mass resolves itself as a small tractor, and it falls off. Sparks, sparks, one bounce dead behind the trailer, one bounce to the left, something flies off fast and passes IN FRONT of me at about waist height. I’m thinking crap. This is it. I’m still accelerating, zig hard left, the tractor takes the position where I was, I go to the shoulder edge, straighten it out, and I’m ALIVE! It was prolly only 2-3 seconds, but it seemed like 30.

Yeah, I’ll pass on trying to top that one. Ride safely out there.

Biker Quote for Today

Well, I figure I’ll buy me a motorcycle
Wrap her pretty little frame around a telephone pole
Ride her off a mountain like old Arlo
Figure I’ll buy me a motorcycle
— Colter Wall

Warm Day For A Cool Ride

May 14th, 2020
motorcycles parked

Taking a break at Tarryall Reservoir.

It was almost hot in Denver Wednesday morning so I selected a mesh jacket, although I left the liner in. I was taking the CB750 and didn’t want to carry the bags so I didn’t have anywhere to put a sweatshirt or anything. It’s a very warm day, right?

Meeting up with the RMMRC there were 10 of us, five Hondas, two Beemers, a Triumph, a Harley, and a Can-Am Spyder. I was sweating standing around waiting to roll. Let’s go to the hills.

Several of the folks reported large numbers of cops out with radar and sure enough we saw a few. A good day to take it easy but that’s not the nature of Bob or Robert, who took turns leading this day. Fortunately no tickets but my 1980 CB has a governor on it and its top speed is 85, and I’ve only hit that speed once in all these years. I had that thing cranked full throttle much of the day.

We went out US 285 to Pine Junction and turned south. Stopped for a break and a snack at Deckers. That was interesting. There were quite a few people around and almost nobody was wearing a mask. The woman clerking the store was, though.

While we were there three guys came in on two big Harleys and a big Beemer. They swung around into their desired position as easy as can be and I said to myself they have got to be motorcycle cops. Almost no one but motorcycle cops handle big bikes that well. I started walking over but before I got there I saw the Colorado State Patrol insignias on their bikes and my question was answered.

We continued on down to Woodland Park and turned west on US 24. At Lake George we turned north to Tarryall Reservoir. We stopped at a parking lot with an outhouse and many of us made use of that facility. When it was my turn I went in and could not believe my eyes. This has got to be, hands down, the nastiest outhouse I have seen in my life. Plus, the door doesn’t close.

I cannot begin to describe the filth but think about this: one of the women in our group used it. She told us she just straddled it and stood above it. But what, did she take her pants completely off? Ponder that one for awhile.

Continuing north we were also gaining altitude and it was getting cool. And I knew we still had to go up Kenosha Pass. I was hoping I wasn’t going to be cursing myself for foolishness. It did get darn chilly but once we got over the top of Kenosha and headed down it warmed up quickly.

We stopped in Bailey for gas and with eight of us now, and six pumps, some of us had to wait. Me. Just before one of us could claim it this young guy on a dirt bike rolled up to one of the pumps. I figured he would fill up quicker than the person on the opposite pump so I waited for him. Well, this guy finished filling his tank and whipped out his cell phone and started fiddling with it. Dude, are you totally clueless? Pull away from the dang pump and let someone else use it! Idiot.

From there it was just a straight shot back down the hill and home. A good day to ride, and the first long ride for me in a while.

Biker Quote for Today

Top 10 signs that a computer is owned by a Harley rider:
10. — The monitor & CPU have been repainted orange and black.

Yes There Is A Congressional Motorcycle Caucus, But . . .

May 11th, 2020
Congressional Motorcycle Caucus

The header for the Congressional Motorcycle Caucus website.

Congress has any number of specific interest caucuses, groups from both parties who have common interests, and they presumably work together to further those interests. So yes, there is a Congressional Motorcycle Caucus, but I have to wonder how much they focus on these issues.

They have a website. It appears to be an adjunct to the website of one of the chairs, Rep. Michael Burgess, a Republican from Texas. The co-chair is Rep. Tim Walberg of Michigan, also a Republican. Here’s a list of the other members:

Don Bacon (R-NE)
Troy Balderson (R-OH)
G.K Butterfield (D-NC)
Michael Conaway (R-TX)
Rick Crawford (R-AR)
Val Demings (D-FL)
Paul Gosar (R-AZ)
Glenn Grothman (R-WI)
Andy Harris (R-MD)
Denny Heck (D-WA)
Doug Lamborn (R-CO)
Sean Patrick Maloney (D-NY)
Paul Mitchell (R-MI)
Rick Nolan (D-MN)
Donald Norcross (D-NJ)
Scott Perry (R-PA)
Collin Peterson (D-MN)
Chris Stewart (R-UT)
Steve Stivers (R-OH)
Glenn “GT” Thompson (R-PA)

You’ll notice that Colorado’s own Doug Lamborn is a member. Good to have someone from here in the group.

Beyond this, however, if the website is any indication, this group does not appear to be particularly active. You go to the Media Center and there is one press release, dated May 9, 2018. Under Resources/Reports and Documents there is one resolution dated May 21, 2008.

Other than that you get some information about each of the co-chairs, a message from Burgess, and the history of the caucus which reads, in full, “The Congressional Motorcycle Caucus was established in 2008 by Reps. Michael Burgess and Gabby Giffords.”

There’s not much else.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not claiming the group is meaningless. Fact is, I have no idea how active they might be, I’m only looking at what they present to the public. And it may well be that there is very little emphasis on keeping current on the website but they do a lot of work together. If anyone can provide me with further information I’d be happy to pass that along.

As for the Senate, that’s even harder to nail down. I found a release from April 4, 2017, that Joni Ernst (R-IA) and Gary Peters (D-MI) launched a Senate motorcycle caucus but beyond the announcement of the formation I find only an April 2018 notice on the AMA site about the group’s first meeting. Plus a few other similar pieces, with nothing even listing who the other members are. Or maybe Ernst and Peters are the only members.

Again, if anyone knows more than this I’d appreciate hearing from you.

Biker Quote for Today

Never ask a biker for directions if you’re in a hurry to get there.

Time For Some Biker Humor

May 7th, 2020
bikers with fat rear tires

Do you suppose these guys are swapping jokes?

Before I get started, here is a humorous note. I decided I would search the web and come up with some biker jokes. I looked at a lot of sites and copied a bunch that I liked. Then I came across a link to my own blog–this blog. It was from 2008 and it was a post with biker jokes. Well, I clicked through and there in that 2008 post were three of the very same jokes I had copied and intended to use today. Doh!

OK, time for some humor.

How can you tell when a Gold Wing rider is having an affair? His helmet doesn’t match the passenger’s.

Q: How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
A: They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.

Q: What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
A: The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? A Yam-Hee-Haw.

A ten year old boy was walking down the street when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside him and asks, “Hey kid, wanna go for a ride?”
“No!” said the boy, and he kept walking.
The motorcyclist pulls up to him again and says “Hey kid, I’ll give you $10 if you hop on the back.”
“No!” said the boy and he proceeded down the street a little quicker.
The motorcyclist pulls up to the boy again and says, “OK kid, I’ll give you $20 and a big bag of candy if you hop on the back for a ride.”
At this point, the boy turns around to him and screams angrily, “Look Dad, YOU bought the Honda, so YOU ride it!”

A biker is riding along a country lane, when a sparrow flies up in front of him. The biker can’t do anything and hits the sparrow. As he looks
in his rear view mirror, he sees the sparrow lying in the road. Being the kind of guy he is, he stops, picks up the sparrow and takes it home and
puts it in a cage, still in a coma. When the sparrow wakes up the following morning, he looks through the bars of the cage and says, “Dang! I must have killed the biker.”

Q: What is a Harley Davidson rider’s favorite type of wood?
A: MaHOGany

This big ugly biker walks into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder, orders a beer and a shot. The bartender sets him up and says, “That’s really cool, where did you get him?”
“Sturgis.” Replied the parrot, “They’re all over the friggin’ place!”

And here, for the last one, is one I especially like.

Badass Biker Bob wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bob looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”
So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Bob asks, “Son, what happened last night?”
His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”
Confused, Badass Bob asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”
His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’m married!”

Biker Quote for Today

I love my motorcycle — it’s great for getting to the front of queues quicker. It does always terrify the other people in the post office though.