Where I’d rather be.

I don’t generally fall back on these humorous things except in winter when there’s no riding, but we’re leaving on a really big trip soon, with lots to do to get ready, and there’s still a huge amount of stuff needing to be resolved following Charley’s death. So I’m taking the easy way out.

What are some of the most stupid things people ask you while you’re on your bike? Here are some more from this thread on Adventure Rider.

• Came out of the store the other day, and there was a guy standing next to my KLX250, and said he had a few questions about my bike. He wanted to get one like it. And he actually asked, “how many CCs is the klx250, 450?”
• Overheard from another patron at a small town gas station where I stopped to each lunch …”Can’t believe someone would spend 12-15,000 dollars on a motorcycle just to save a little money on gas”
• A guy was dropping parts off at work as I was putting on my Stitch to leave. He said “Aren’t you hot in that?” My stock answer is “I’d rather sweat than bleed.” He told me that he’s one of those guys that wears a wifebeater and jeans doing 105 on his sportbike. :huh I just said “Let me know how that works out for you.” as I walked out the door.
• Tuesday morning, I come dripping and sloshing into the office (it seems my jacket zippers have become non waterproof and it was raining cats and dogs the whole way) as I’m stripping off the sopping wet dripping mess no less than three people came up and with an amazed look asked me if I really rode today. Nope. Log flume.
• Went to Cabela’s in Hamburg, PA. yesterday and as I was pulling on my helmet a man walking by and asks are you wearing a helmet? You know in PA you don’t have to wear one. You must be from Jersey. I responded that no I was not wearing a helmet but was encasing my head to protect me from the covert microwaves that the government is sending out to control all of us and that if he lived in Jersey he would know this. The look on the dude’s face was priceless. Needless to say our conversation ended at this point. May be it was a sign!!!
• I was going round Lake Michigan and stopped at a gas station for gas and a drink. The clerk asks me why I was wearing a snomobile suit in summer….. I was wearing my one piece Areostitch suit.
• A co-worker known for smart-assed replies walked into my office, notices my helmet and asks, “Do you ride a motorcycle?” My obvious answer: “No, I’m just a really bad driver.”
• “Do you race that?” Made more funny by the fact that the bike had a full set of hard luggage fitted at the time.
• The patio was full of folks and one yelled out “Hey why don’t you buy a “real bike” you can pretty much tell what he was riding. I was on an old BMW R1100rs: My mouth got ahead of my brain… I blurted out; My wife rides an Ultra Classic, why would I want to ride a chick bike. I got a few seconds of dead silence followed by his friends giving him crap that she rides a bigger bike than he does. I’m thinking I did not make any friends that day.
• Him: Why don’t you ride a Harley? Me: I can’t drink that much beer….

OK. Hope you got a bit of a chuckle. Next time I hope I’ll have some riding to write about.

Biker Quote for today

No one has ever said, “I wonder where that intersecting freeway goes.” — Eric Trow

Is that a motorcycle?

Oh sure, let’s see what other stupid questions riders have been asked. Haven’t done this for a while.

• “How fast will it go?” I get this one a lot with my 1150GS.. I usually reply with.. “It will do the speed limit anywhere I go…”
• Stopped at a roadside peanut stand when I rode a Ducati ST3. Guy says, “Ducati… who makes that?”
• The most common comments I get on the Strom are 1: “What the hell is that thing?”and 2: “Do you ever wash it?”
• I was sitting around a coffee shop the other day, using my laptop, when this dude sitting nearby points to my pile of riding gear and says, ‘Sweet helmet. Do you have a bike?’ So I looked at him and responded in deadpan, ‘No, I just spent $400 on riding gear to look like I have a bike when I’m stopping for coffee and an email-check.’ He responded with, ‘Awesome idea. I should do that. … … So you’re really kidding, right?’
• I pulled into a carpark once and while getting off the bike some guy came up and asked me straight out without hesitation ” Did you Just ride here?” I was stumped.
• After installing luggage racks and 3 Givi 36L cases on my NH, at least three people came up to me and asked: “Why does your bike have big suitcases on it?” “What in the world do you need to carry in those?” “If you are going to bring that much s–t, why not take the car and save yourself the grief?”
• I have a picture of my KLR and I at the Arctic Circle sign in the map pouch on my tank bag. One day a 20-something looked at it and said, “That is a cool picture; how did you get the bike there?”
• I had a fellow college student (was in my class to boot) ask me if I carried that helmet to pick up chicks, cause he wanted to get one to do that. Not a motorcycle just a helmet.
• Walk inside gasbar with helmet on to pay for my gas and the attendant says “Would you like a carwash today sir?”

And one last one, the sort we don’t like to hear:

• Can I see your license sir?

Biker Quote for Today

I carry groceries home on the tank of my motorcycle.

I wish I could say I shot this photo yesterday but I didn’t. I’m missing it all this year.

Since I’m not able to ride again yet (four more weeks!) I’m running a little dry, so as I do at times like this I have turned again to threads on the Adventure Riders forum. This is the one titled “Stupid questions people ask you when stopped.” Time for some amusement.

• I had a Gold Wing Aspencade once. I insulated the left saddlebag with thin styrofoam to make it into an ice chest. It worked quite well. It would keep 24 cans of beer ice cold for 2 days in the hottest of summer weather. My buddies and I pulled into a gas station and, with the bike on the side stand, it started to drip. A passerby noticed the puddle under the bike and asked if the bike had air conditioning. “Yes,” I replied, “It does.”
• I’m standing next to the bike again in full ATTGATT and somebody asks “Your bike?” – I say Nooooo, it’s my Granny’s.
• After being pulled over by the local Police who have seen me on the DR a couple hundred times by now… “Is that thing street legal?” Me = Nope, it just has lights and a plate because I like the extra weight!
• Yesterday. It was raining, Grey and an all around dreary day. As I walked into a gas station dripping all over the place some guy speaks up: I bet you wish you are in a car today don’t ya?
  Me: That is a bet you would lose. (stepped to the counter and paid for purchase)
  Him: What do ya mean? You can’t be enjoying yourself!
  Me: You’ve never ridden a motorcycle have you? (Laughed and turned to walk out)
  Clerk: He rides every day rain or shine and always has a smile.
• One Sunday morning I was out for a ride in the Colorado back roads. The morning was fantastic and I had seen nary another driver. Coming over a hill and looking down, an officer of the law was sitting, apparently also enjoying the lonely Sunday morning. I was well in excess of the posted speed limit. I pulled up to him and stopped. He got out of his car and walked across the road to me. “Nice morning for a ride.”
  “Yes sir,” I said.
  “If you would slow up some you will have many more.”
  “Yes sir,” I said.
  “Have a nice day,” he said, and walked back to his car.
  It was a great day.
• Last week, it’s snowing like hell and I stop at a light while riding to work. (already 2 inches on the road, no studs B.T.W.) and the yuck next to me asks out his rolled down window… “You know it’s snowing don’t you?” Me = “Nah! Hadn’t noticed.”
• I was driving my 1200 LT and notice that a guy was following me in his car. At a red light he pulls over and says: Wowww what a bike! For that money you might have bought a car instead!
• Stopped at a gas station today… some random guy came up and ask me if my 1982 BMW R65LS was a Harley Davidson… :huh? I guess the BMW badge on the tank, tail, bikini fairing and on my license plate bracket wasn’t enough of a hint that it wasn’t an HD. I toyed with the guy saying “Yeah, it’s one of those boxer twins that HD is FAMOUS for…” and rode off.
• My ride is an FJR1300. Not the fastest or most powerful bike on the planet, but definitely no slouch. Was at a gas station one day and a guy walks up to me and asks “Do you need all that power or do you just want it?” “Both,” I replied.
• I kid you not, I was stopped at an intersection with two other guys on bikes and a troglodyte waltzes up and asks “are those motorcycles?”

OK, calling it a day. Hope you got a chuckle.

Biker Quote for Today

Bike to work. Bike to play. Bike tomorrow. Bike today.