For five years now I have written for Examiner.com as their National Motorcycle Examiner, though of late I’ve been doing a minimum of work for them. Here’s an example of why.
I was putting up an article recently and found that when I filtered my content list for just the unpublished pieces there was more than the one I was working on. Turns out someone down there in their infinite wisdom decided to unpublish a piece I put up in 2010, presumably because it contained objectionable material. Now? After all this time? And what was objectionable about it?
So I’m going to republish it right here and let you see if you can figure out what they decided they didn’t like.
Only a biker knows . . .: Motorcycle wit and wisdom, #15
Dang, those bikers are quotable. It all started with the line, “Only a biker knows why a dog sticks its head out the window” and now we’re back with out 15th batch of amusing, sometimes thought-provoking, frequently dead-on biker quotes. Enjoy.
- You ain’t livin’ unless you’re livin’ on the edge.
- Bounce like you’ve got hydraulics in your G-string.
- Never look where you are going, always look where you want to go.
- On a motorcycle, you’re penetrating distance right along with the machine. In a car, you’re just a spectator; the windshield’s like a TV. — Von Dutch
- If it’s too loud you’re too old.
- You’re a biker wannabe if you spit out the bug that just flew in your mouth.
- Some people ride to enjoy life, some ride to travel, and some people ride to bars.
- Don’t die wondering, die wandering.
- Adventure is not the road we travel, it’s the obstacles we overcome.
- At the end of the day, you’ve still got to twist that throttle.
- Gravity: Obeying the law is for pussies.
- I don’t know, it’s kinda weird, but the constant chest pains seem to go away when I let the clutch out on my bike.
- Scars are tattoos with better stories!
- Remember kiddies, bikers have more fun than people.
- Remember when sex was safe and motorcycles were dangerous?
- If motorcycles are not allowed in heaven then I’ll ride mine to hell.
- Midnight bugs taste just as bad as noon time bugs.
- I’m a highway junkie! Lord, I love a white line!!!
- Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today. — James Dean
- It’s not the bike so much as it’s the rider. Put the stock pistons back in the bike and quit messing with stuff you don’t understand.
OK, there you go. Something in there is pretty offensive, right? My best guess is that it’s that line about gravity, and they got some cock-eyed idea that it was referring to female anatomy as opposed to being a synonym for wussies or wimps or something like that. There are a lot of reasons I don’t write much for them anymore and this is just one more on the list. Too bad, it was a good gig for a while.
Biker Quote for Today
Motorcycles are better than men because motorcycles don’t pass gas and belch all the time. If they do, you can do something about it.