Passes & Canyons Blog

Outside of Oatman–watch out, donkeys on the road ahead.

It’s been a long time since I’ve tapped into this thread of what is the strangest thing you ever hit–or missed–on your motorcycle. The amazing thing is how there is always something new that is unlike any previous incident.

• Me and my wife on her first long distance tour. We are from Michigan and were somewhere in N.C. The day turned into an all day rain. Got on xway to get to motel. Merged behind an open bed pickup with a new refrigerator in the back, still in manufacture cardboard box. As soon as we merged in behind it my “that’s not good” hairs started to raise. I merged to the left. Before wife could the wind opened up the rain soaked cardboard and it was flying through the air like a blanket about to encapsulate the wife at 65 mph. She dodged it or it dodged her but what an unexpected event.
• There has been a large ratchet strap, the kind used on semi flat bed trailers, on the morning commute side of the freeway. Been there for the past week. I spotted it the first morning in my lane, and was able to dodge it, and each morning since, it has been migrating a few yards down the freeway, and one lane over to one side or the other. I’ve been mindful to watch for it, but have been thinking of how many cars have hit this stupid thing.
• I hit a 4×4 post that was ejected from a pickup…in a turn at 70mph on I-610 in Houston. I gassed it and yanked the bars, and after shifting over a lane that old Norton went right back on line.
• Strangest thing, a whole pickup truck bed filled with scrap metal, slid right off the frame of the truck….
• Rotor wash from an H-53 helicopter. I used to teach MSF at NAS Alameda, and our training range was right next to the flight line of a helo squadron. I was demonstrating an exercise on my K100RS when an H-53 came in over the lagoon and turned right over our range before landing. The rotor wash hit me broadside and knocked me right off the bike. All I could do was laugh. Who gets knocked off a motorcycle by a helicopter?
• While riding on US-395 near Mammoth late at night, a large jackrabbit appeared in my headlight. I executed a perfect swerve to avoid the rabbit, and just as I passed it an owl bounced off my knee armor. So I think technically I saved that rabbit’s life twice.
• I was at a stop light on a road perpendicular to the intracoastal waterway in FL when a fairly large Mullet (pound or 2?) bounced off my helmet, glanced off my tank, and then began flopping around on the ground next to me. I pulled over, grabbed the fish, ran across the street, and two hand lobbed it into the water. As best I could tell, it survived the ordeal. The look on the faces of the cagers stopped at the light watching a guy in a helmet and leather moto jacket running by with a live fish was priceless. About the only one not entertained by the whole thing, was an osprey (with a bigger appetite than talons apparently) sitting on the billboard next to my still running bike.

OK. I’ve never encountered any of those on my rides. That’s fine with me. Be careful out there.

Biker Quote for Today

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

It’s not just when you see this sign that you need to ride cautiously.

With a new riding season in full swing it is inevitable that the hits and misses of objects on or above the road keep occurring. Here are some of the latest from this Adventure Riders thread.

• Commuting home from work. Long downhill to traffic light. I see a kid chasing a basketball down the sidewalk. He’s 25 yards behind and not gaining on it. Watching in my mirror as traffic stopped for the light. I watched as the ball bounced into the street. I didn’t even have to dismount. It rolled to where I could stop it with my right foot. I waited for the kid to catch up and flipped it to him. I damn near dropped the motorcycle on its right side.
• Gator, this AM. I have almost hit a smaller one a while ago on a dirt road near here too. Thought it was a log laying in the road….until it scurried off into the ditch as I went by.
• I was riding behind two cars going around 50 mph. Up ahead, about a dozen or so buzzards are feasting on road kill. The first car passes and they don’t react, second car passes and they scatter. One flies right into my windscreen, bounces up and barely misses my left shoulder. I immediately check the mirror, and see it walking dazed in the road. Tough bird.
• Last weekend, a turkey buzzard. It was feasting on road kill. I saw it, slowed and hit the horn. It got up slowly, and flew to the right. I swerved to the left (no traffic) and could have reached out with my hand and grabbed its left wing.
• Potatoes, near Alamosa Colorado. Big potato growing area, this was during harvest. We were following a big truck with an uncovered bed over-heaped with potatoes. It took a turn too fast and bushels of potatoes spilled out in front of my husband. You wouldn’t think potatoes bounce like ping pong balls, they do. Then they roll around on the ground attacking your tires. At the same time others are exiting the truck and whizzing through the air at you like rocks. He didn’t go down.
• For me, riding my cbr929 on I-40 through Albuquerque. Major cross-country trucking route. I was hemmed in by semi’s on both sides. The pick-up in front of me straddled a big box lying on the pavement, like from a dishwasher or washing machine. Of course it pops suddenly into my view as the truck passed over it. Nowhere to go to avoid it. The turbulence of the truck passing over it made the box lift off the ground and open like a box kite. I ducked as it soared over my left shoulder. I suppose it hit the car behind me. This all took maybe 4-5 seconds.
• Minding my own business on my F800GSA a few years ago, following (about 20′ back) a large box truck down a nice, twisty back road. All of a sudden I hear a loud snap, see a flash of light to my left, and a telephone pole goes sailing over my head!! The box truck caught the low hanging power lines and snapped off the pole, sending it flying and dragging it down the road.
• Many moons ago, following a cage at about 50mph along a remote 2-lane I knew well and after dark with no street lights, cage crossed one set of RR tracks with nary a bobble. I followed 10 secs later in the middle of the lane. My meager headlight barely picked up the pothole between the rails. Pothole was clean down to the ties and from rail to rail. Width was maybe 4-5 feet wide. The cage prolly never knew it was there and easily straddled it. I was on it with just enough time to see it and snap the throttle wide open. I was out of the saddle by the time the front wheel hit the far rail. The whang was tremendous. Everything from my hands/wrists to the middle of my back hurt bad. I didn’t crash but wobbled onward slowing to pull onto the shoulder of the road.
• While braking ordinarily for an ordinary traffic light, my front wheel rolled onto an ordinary flattened pop can. The pop can began to slide and the front end began to wash away. Managed to get off the front brake and lose the can to regain traction and braking.
• The first time I took my wife for a ride (her first time on a motorcycle) an oncoming pickup’s hood flew off and went right over our heads.

Yeah, OK. That all goes under the heading of “glad it wasn’t me.” Keep your eyes open so it isn’t you the next time it might be.

Biker Quote for Today

What kind of a bike does a cow love riding? A cow rides a Cowasaki Mootorcycle.

Hey, once I rode through water! Oh, that doesn’t count?

It has been almost a year since I last checked in on this Adventure Rider thread, so here are another batch of objects riders have encountered on (or above) the road.

• Hit a river otter. Yes, they are big.
• I was riding down by San Diego State University one day. The sights of the lovely coeds were so agreeable I almost hit a post.
• Weiner dog, yellow bellied marmot, kid on a unlicensed mini-bike.
• Groundhog, Squirrels, Seagull, Endangered parrot, Cinder block.
• I barely registered the canoe perched atop an oncoming pickup initially, but some mental twig made me think that either the bearing or aspect of the boat did not exactly match the vehicle it was perched on as it got nearer. And sure as s—, that thing caught lift, cranked sideways, and levered into my lane, then proceeded to pull off the bed and landed skidding just behind me. Closing speed was probably 80ish, backroads and no other traffic, and luckily the poor blacktop and camber already had me near the fog line; otherwise, I’m guessing either a massive vector change (not good) or going down (maybe worse) would have been in my future.
• I hit the ground because I was going too slow uphill watching girls do jumps.
• A wombat went under my back wheel. Did not see it coming.
• On a group ride and saw a brush turkey run out from the left of the road, didn’t feel a hit but couldn’t see it exit on the right either. An hour later we stopped and I asked the other riders if anyone could smell roast chicken? Looked down and there he was, stuck between the header pipes, gently roasting away.
• A small owl,,,but I didn’t hit it, I was attacked by it. Was driving through the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo and this owl flies across the road, levels off towards me and attacks my helmet with full talons out. I ducked but it still raked the top of the helmet.
• A huge roll of wide steel banding that slid off the back of a flat bed 18 wheeler. I was far enough back that I could brake when I saw the dust cloud. As I passed there was nothing but a mass tangle of razor sharp edges.
• A semi full of meat, at night in a construction zone. The trailer had flipped and torn open and there was meat everywhere, hams and like that. The cab went off the left side and plunged off the road on an overpass. heard later the driver did not survive.
• Ride in N Carolina I could see ahead and thought it was a pipe laying across the road. As I got closer saw that it was moving, the biggest black indigo snake I have ever seen.
• An old, full size, 6’x4′ freezer, laying lengthwise in the right lane. On the 416 going into Ottawa from the east. Couldn’t figure out why the traffic was slowing and swerving all over till it was right in front of me by about 80′.
• A five foot rattle snake followed by several miles of random tarantulas crossing NM Hwy 104 out of Tucumcari, NM on my way to Las Vegas, NM.

OK, fun! (Not.) Be careful out there.

Biker Quote for Today

We know you’re a poser if you carry a lap-top in your saddle bags.

Cresting Cottonwood Pass.

With the weather warm and everyone getting back out on the road it’s time once again to be aware of the hazards. Here’s another installment of the crazy things motorcyclists have encountered on the road, courtesy of Adventure Riders.

• Freaking goat was standing in the middle of the road recently! Fairly big dude with a serious set of horns. Figured he got out of someone’s pasture and was wandering so I stopped, he didn’t get aggressive when I approached (ATGATT, helmet still on) so I led him to the side of the road and down a driveway. Called 911, local sheriff laughed when I told them what I found. I said – your problem, I’m leaving and rode away.
• I found a pig wandering down the Middle of the Blue Ridge Parkway near the VA/NC border. When I finished laughing I stopped. Pig came running up, obviously someone’s pet. Texted a picture to my wife – she said hell no! So I called the rangers and rode away.
• This summer I was T-boned by a domestic sheep. Scooted the back end sideways but that’s it. In the spring in a canyon going to Red River, NM a Big Horn sheep ram challenged a couple on a Harley. The ram did a head on with the bike, sent the woman over the handlebars and she died. Crazy Big Horns will run into anything, moving or sitting still!
• I’m not sure if this counts. I was riding in The Villages FL. I was stopped at a traffic signal minding my own business and some old dude side swipes my front wheel while crossing the intersection in his Yamaha golf cart. This was a Hit & Run! I was laying on the ground laughing in disbelief at what just occurred. I wasn’t hurt, just amazed at golf cart traffic in that retirement community.
• I hit something with my chest while road riding in eastern PA several years ago. I’m not sure what it was, because it exploded. It was about softball sized covered in fur, full of blood, and suspended in midair in the middle of the day. My guess is either a confused bat or an unlucky squirrel that had fallen out of a tree at just the right time for me to intercept it.
• I was riding 100′ behind my son in North Washington and watched a huge Bald Eagle swoop off it’s nest, down toward my son and extended it’s talons and swept inches by his helmet. Like he was trying to pluck a fish from the water. That thing had a 4-5′ wingspan. Never a camera on when you need it.
• Night time. Three lanes of traffic. Arlington Va. Two lanes full of tractor trailers. I’m in the #1 lane just whizzing by, minding my own business when the trucks swerve partly into my lane as I’m even with the lead truck’s cab. Just then, I see what I thought was a paper bag blowing around in my lane, but it was a big hub cap, spinning and skittering all around in front of me. I barely managed to not get hit by the truck, swerve my way around the hub cap, just in time for the little sedan that had the tire blow-out and subsequent hub cap ejection, to swerve into my lane, missing me by literal inches.
• On a very windy afternoon ride home on I-580 many years ago, I was drafting a pickup towing a boat. Evidently, the boaters had left a number of bags of groceries in the open boat and the wind was whipping them around/tearing them up. The truck rolled over a chunk of lumber laying in the road and when the trailer hit it, something popped up out of the open boat. As I swerved to avoid the hunk of 2×4 in the road, a full can of beer went sailing by inches from my head. I saw the can explode in my mirror when it hit the pavement behind me.
• Buzzard. Buzzards actually. On my 250, I hit two of them in one day. For some odd reason, the were running across the road and I hit them with my left footpeg and foot. You would think that they would cross at crosswalks, but NOOOOO. They have to cross wherever they damn well please. No self discipline whatsoever. But then I hit one on my Beemer. I live in the Ozarks and was having way too much fun on a roller coaster road. Came up over a steep hill and saw some movement on my left. Hit the brakes and watched it fly right into my clutch lever, explode, roll up my arm and smack me in the helmet. Hit hard enough that I saw stars and repeated the mantra ” don’t pass out, don’t pass out, don’t pass out” until I could pull off to the side of the road. Put the sidestand down and fell off of the bike. Crawled over to the side of the road, drank water and breathed deeply for awhile until recovered. I was getting tired of the stench of the feedyard I had parked next to until I realized there was no feedyard nearby. The front of my jacket was covered with buzzard guts and whatever it had for lunch. I skipped lunch that day.
• Magpie, at speed and it flew through my front wheel, well part way through anyway. Then I had to put up with the smell of KFC for the next 40km, stopped for gas, went into pay and the guy at the cash register leapt backwards. “Um?” He couldn’t speak, just pointed at the mirror behind one of the racks, yeah I took a step back as well, covered in blood and feathers. I looked like a walking satanic ritual.

Yep. Ride motorcycles. Come for the fun; stay for the excitement!

Biker Quote for Today

You know you’re a biker if when she says “It’s the bike or me!!” you have to think about it really hard.

OK, you’re spotted it and warned the guy behind you–now look away.

I heard yesterday about two airplanes making contact in mid-air, just a very short distance from here, over Cherry Creek Reservoir. Not a full-on collision, but one plane clipped the other. Both planes got down safely and nobody got killed.

But doesn’t that make you think: How in the heck, in all that space up in the sky, do two planes manage to hit one another? I bet I know one factor that played into it: target fixation.

The way target fixation works, if you see something you wish to avoid, but you keep looking at it, you will almost certainly steer directly to it. It happens on a motorcycle, in a car, on foot, and I’m sure it happens in airplanes, too.

I have numerous personal experiences with target fixation. When I used to fly a hang-glider I was flying once up in South Park and I was headed toward a pole with a wind sock on it. The trouble was, I was losing altitude and I was not going to be high enough to go over it. I tried to steer away but I kept looking right at it and inexorably I continued straight for it. Finally, in order not to hit it, I flared upward to go over, but that put me into a stall and I came nose down just on the other side of the pole. That hurt.

On my CB750 once we were coming down Poncha Pass toward Poncha Springs and there was a rock I’d say that was about four inches in diameter in the road ahead. I definitely didn’t want to run over that but as I tried to maneuver away I kept staring at it and ended up going right over it. This threw my front end up in the air, the only wheelie I’ve ever done on that 600 pound motorcycle. I did manage to ride it out safely.

But the point was, I kept looking right at it. That seems like the normal thing to do–you want to be sure to avoid it so you keep your eye on it. But your brain works a little differently. What you really need to do is look away from it. You will go where you’re looking. So look away and you will steer away. Look right at it and you will go straight toward it.

I can just imagine one of those pilots yesterday. He sees this other plane and wants very much to steer clear of it. But he keeps looking at it, and hard as he tries to steer away he continues to find himself on a course directly toward it. Even when the other pilot tries to evade him, the pilot who is fixated adjusts his course unconsciously to continue toward the other plane. And crash.

Look away! Look away! That’s what you’ve got to do. Practice it while you’re out riding. Identify a spot in the road ahead and deliberately look elsewhere and avoid it. Or look right at it and try to steer around it. Good luck with that. Practicing now to look away will make it easier to do it when it matters; it will be more reflexive.

Biker Quote for Today

100 reasons not to date a biker: 21. From March until October is roadracing season. We’ll watch it all: races, qualifying, free practice, even testing.

Sure, the road is clear now. But what’s around that curve?

OK, it has been quite awhile since I have done an update on this perennial thread, flying objects or objects on the road. These come from a thread on the Adventure Rider forum.

• Eels. Some time ago in south east Australia, wriggling across the road. I missed them. Could have been a slippery collision. I thought the first one was just a snake, until I saw a few more. It was raining and apparently these ones live in freshwater but migrate to the Coral Sea to breed.
• I nearly hit a Red Kite that was swooping down onto a road kill. The bird was so focused on the kill, that it did not see me until the last moment, then it looked straight into my eyes, and scooped the dead rabbit up with one talon, all the time staring me in the eyes, as it started to gain height, I had to duck down to avoid the hit, as I passed just under it.
• Was following a light truck in the middle lane which I couldn’t see around and I like to be able to see beyond the car in front of me for safety. On the right of me was a fully loaded semi truck which we had both just passed. With just enough distance between the light truck in front of me and the semi in the right lane, I went to switch to the right lane in front of the semi. Unfortunately, there was a steel stool with the legs sticking up about 18″ right where the lane markers are which I baaaaarely missed.
• About 40 years ago, Kawasaki vertical twin, M4 in England on a sunny morning after a freezing night. About an inch-thick of ice lifted off the top of a container truck in front of me, 40 feet by 8 feet. I saw it lifting and braked onto the shoulder. Cars behind, not so lucky.
• 100 yards behind an 18 wheeler with empty flatbeds that had heavy plywood inserts in its trailers.
  I saw the wind pick up the edge of one of the inserts and as the wind caught it I watched flip up high into the air.
  In a split second I ducked as it flew over my helmet.
• A Christmas tree. It was standing in the middle of my driving lane.
• Whilst riding through some of the most beautiful New Zealand scenery early one winters morning just out of Queenstown a sheep fell from an 40-50 foot cliff and landed on my handle bars sending me and my new Suzuki GT750 down the road.
• Still when young and stupid — had to get out of a situation by riding through unfamiliar college campus at night on sidewalks at high speed. Hit a 3ft stone wall. That was the end of the KLR.
• Almost had a skunk strike me in the chest …… truck in front of me ran over the skunk and kicked it up, twirling and spraying headed right at me …… it veered off at the last second.
• A small tractor. I’m in slow lane, and keep seeing sparks from under the car in front of me; I’m back prolly 150 feet. Figured it was a chain from the trailer being towed in front of him, but could not quite see. Guy pulls out to pass the trailer – too close – maybe 2 car lengths between them. I see the chain dragging and bouncing from a trailer loaded with crap – furniture? Odd shaped stuff? Tarps flapping. And a black mass at the rear – can not really make it out. I punch it to go around the trailer, and as I get closer the chain starts sparking more. Get about 50 feet from it … and the black mass resolves itself as a small tractor, and it falls off. Sparks, sparks, one bounce dead behind the trailer, one bounce to the left, something flies off fast and passes IN FRONT of me at about waist height. I’m thinking crap. This is it. I’m still accelerating, zig hard left, the tractor takes the position where I was, I go to the shoulder edge, straighten it out, and I’m ALIVE! It was prolly only 2-3 seconds, but it seemed like 30.

Yeah, I’ll pass on trying to top that one. Ride safely out there.

Biker Quote for Today

Well, I figure I’ll buy me a motorcycle
Wrap her pretty little frame around a telephone pole
Ride her off a mountain like old Arlo
Figure I’ll buy me a motorcycle
— Colter Wall

One kind of hill in Florida.

It has been a long time since I did one of these posts. Here you are, direct from the Adventure Riders forum, 10 more reports on close encounters on the road.

1. Hit birds (like a baseball hitting you), black cat during Halloween (shattered the 89 GSXR750 fairing), and a big dog trying to bite my front wheel. The latter knocked the bike (07 750) out from under me at about 60mph. Killed him, and broke my collarbone, ribs, both rotator cuffs torn. Didn’t do the bike any good either.

2. I was headed north on I-5 when the top of an RV peeled off like a tuna can lid. A wall about twelve feet tall of aluminum and interior stood erect and on end, like a wall, in the middle lane and the piece was sliding at about eighty miles an hour. Sparks were spitting out from under it. I was lucky that I was riding the inside lane because a diesel was in the outside lane and he was jack-knifing his trailer in order to avoid it. I only had enough time to see it coming in the center lane.

3. Man, I wish I had a picture of this one. Making my last left turn on my 86 mile commute home, 5 mile zone of death and am paying extra attention. I have a green, catch movement from the right, it’s 11 o’clock at night, bicycle riding against traffic runs the light, process and wait for him to go by, then fireworks thrown into intersection by bicyclist, ok I’m too tired for this, start to go, wait what? Bicycle is towing a 12 foot canoe and I almost rode right through it. This.Is.California.

4. A chicken, on my 2010 Ultra….chicken did not survive…the guy that was riding next to my right saddlebag was covered in feathers and chicken parts…..

5. If any of you have ever been near the Mississippi River (northern part) in the spring, you know all about May flies. Those things FILL the air to the point that after just a few miles, you are literally covered in dead bug juice….the Iowa DOT goes as far as to put signs up showing a mayfly on the road, with the word “Slippery”…and it CAN be….absolutely disgusting cleaning cooked bug guts off your pipes and radiator.

6. How about a 3 foot alligator, in Idaho! Was playing on the ST1100 at work, call it playing because I just patrol to be visible, going through an area along the river with a bunch of hot springs. Came around a curve and saw what looked like a log in the road, but one end moved and had two reflective dots. Got stopped and saw what was and tried to back pedal. It turned and scooted back into brush. Turned out to be an attempted theft from a private farm by high school kids. For years didn’t know why they called that place a gator farm, do now. Raises them to about 3 feet for boots.

7. A month ago, riding in the N. California coastal hills with a buddy, I pulled over and my buddy came alongside saying he had to clean off his jacket. What? Turns out about a mile back a buzzard had lifted off ahead of him carrying a huge load of purified road kill. It flew low over my pal and suddenly dropped his load like a precision bomb, a direct hit. It was about the consistency of jelly and so putrid I almost puked while helping wipe it off his jacket. We rode on a couple miles further to a small lake where we were able to wash off the worst of it while flies buzzed around us.

8. Downhill, country road twisty at a high rate of speed. Not one but TWO peacocks in full plumage centered in my lane! They flew up and I drove under them!

9. Narrowly missed a mirror off of the car in front me when an oncoming car sideswiped it at highway speeds. Dodged oncoming, ducked under flying mirror, dodged car in front of me after they locked up their brakes.

10. Riding along a dirt lane to a campground in Steelevile MO, what I thought was a mass of about 40 to 50 dragonflies hovering and darting around over the middle of the road turned out to actually be a mass of humming birds. I never slowed down since bug guts never really bothered me. But I recognized what they were as I rode through the cloud of birds. Never touched a one of them as they simply just parted enough to let me through. It didn’t even faze them and they returned to their buzzing over the middle of the road as if nothing ever happened.

Wow–totally cool about the hummingbirds. I’m sure he would have hated massacring a bunch of those little guys. So there you have it. Ride carefully, it’s dangerous out there!

Biker Quote for Today

When people talk about how many times I’ve gone down . . . yeah, but did I die?

What’s up ahead? You never know.

OK, more crazy things people have encountered when riding. It’s kind of a zoo out there, actually. (These are from Adventure Rider.)

• I was headed north on I-5 when the top of an RV peeled off like a tuna can lid. A wall about twelve feet tall of aluminum and interior stood erect in the middle lane and the piece was sliding at about eighty miles an hour. Sparks were spitting out from under it. I was lucky that I was riding the inside lane because a diesel was in the outside lane and he was jack-knifing his trailer in order to avoid it. I only had enough time to see it coming in the center lane.
• Heading South on US 83 in West Texas, a pickup was pulling a grain cart heading North and the hitch pin bounced out, cart came across my lane. Full brake lock and came way too close.
• (Same guy) Heading West on I-70 in Kansas at night and saw headlights/taillights/headlights about a half mile down the road. I knew a car had crashed so was fully aware and getting ready to stop and help, but this fire ball was still coming towards me and not slowing down at all. I was trying to figure out what the hell when I realized it was a pickup missing the front driver wheel. Some lunatic was driving the wrong way on an interstate highway at night with no lights. He had hit a suv head on which was the crash I had seen, the highway patrol chased him another 10 miles before they got him stopped.
• Man, I wish I had a picture of this one. Making my last left turn on my 86 mile commute home, 5 mile zone of death and am paying extra attention. I have a green, catch movement from the right, it’s 11 o’clock at night, bicycle riding against traffic runs the light, process and wait for him to go by, then fireworks thrown into intersection by bicyclist, ok I’m too tired for this, start to go, wait what? Bicycle is towing a 12 foot canoe and I almost rode right through it. This.Is.California.
• If any of you have ever been near the Mississippi River (northern part) in the spring, you know all about May flies. Those things FILL the air to the point that after just a few miles, you are literally covered in dead bug juice….the Iowa DOT goes as far as to put signs up showing a mayfly on the road, with the word “Slippery”…and it CAN be….absolutely disgusting cleaning cooked bug guts off your pipes and radiator.
• How about a 3 foot alligator, in Idaho! Was playing on the ST1100 at work, call it playing because I just patrol to be visible, going through an area along the river with a bunch of hot springs. Came around a curve and saw what looked like a log in the road, but one end moved and had two reflective dots. Got stopped and saw what was and tried to back pedal. It turned and scooted back into brush. Turned out to be an attempted theft from a private farm by high school kids.
• A month ago, riding in the N. California coastal hills with a buddy, I pulled over and my buddy came alongside saying he had to clean off his jacket. What? Turns out about a mile back a buzzard had lifted off ahead of him carrying a huge load of purified road kill. It flew low over my pal and suddenly dropped his load like a precision bomb, a direct hit. It was about the consistency of jelly and so putrid I almost puked while helping wipe it off his jacket. We rode on a couple miles further to a small lake where we were able to wash off the worst of it while flies buzzed around us.
• It was down in New Mexico on I-25 heading north around sunrise, I saw three golden eagles in the median eating breakfast. I passed some small car just as I got to them, they saw me and took flight. Two went almost vertical, but Larry the lazy eagle headed right in front of me! I watched him as he looked over his right wing and realized he better alter his flight plan.

  First order of business, lighten the load and then go vertical. He took a s–t and I watched it hit my left hand, continue up my left arm, and cross my face as his butthole and lower legs grazed the top of my helmet. I pulled over onto the shoulder and my girlfriend-who was following on her own bike-looked at me and I could see she was in pain from trying not to laugh out loud.

  I had worn an open faced helmet that trip-it was f—ing hot-and without even thinking about it, I licked my lips. Did you know that eagle s–t has a slightly butterscotch flavor to it? Who knew? My girlfriend was no longer in pain. She was laughing out loud.

  I no longer wear open faced helmets and she and I are no longer together.

• Riding along a dirt lane to a campground in Steelevile MO, what I thought was a mass of about 40 to 50 dragonflies hovering and darting around over the middle of the road turned out to actually be a mass of humming birds. I never slowed down since bug guts never really bothered me. But I recognized what they were as I rode through the cloud of birds. Never touched a one of them as they simply just parted enough to let me through. It didn’t even faze them and they returned to their buzzing over the middle of the road as if nothing ever happened.

Biker Quote for Today

The most dangerous place on earth is between a biker and his bike.