Passes & Canyons Blog

One kind of hill in Florida.

It has been a long time since I did one of these posts. Here you are, direct from the Adventure Riders forum, 10 more reports on close encounters on the road.

1. Hit birds (like a baseball hitting you), black cat during Halloween (shattered the 89 GSXR750 fairing), and a big dog trying to bite my front wheel. The latter knocked the bike (07 750) out from under me at about 60mph. Killed him, and broke my collarbone, ribs, both rotator cuffs torn. Didn’t do the bike any good either.

2. I was headed north on I-5 when the top of an RV peeled off like a tuna can lid. A wall about twelve feet tall of aluminum and interior stood erect and on end, like a wall, in the middle lane and the piece was sliding at about eighty miles an hour. Sparks were spitting out from under it. I was lucky that I was riding the inside lane because a diesel was in the outside lane and he was jack-knifing his trailer in order to avoid it. I only had enough time to see it coming in the center lane.

3. Man, I wish I had a picture of this one. Making my last left turn on my 86 mile commute home, 5 mile zone of death and am paying extra attention. I have a green, catch movement from the right, it’s 11 o’clock at night, bicycle riding against traffic runs the light, process and wait for him to go by, then fireworks thrown into intersection by bicyclist, ok I’m too tired for this, start to go, wait what? Bicycle is towing a 12 foot canoe and I almost rode right through it. This.Is.California.

4. A chicken, on my 2010 Ultra….chicken did not survive…the guy that was riding next to my right saddlebag was covered in feathers and chicken parts…..

5. If any of you have ever been near the Mississippi River (northern part) in the spring, you know all about May flies. Those things FILL the air to the point that after just a few miles, you are literally covered in dead bug juice….the Iowa DOT goes as far as to put signs up showing a mayfly on the road, with the word “Slippery”…and it CAN be….absolutely disgusting cleaning cooked bug guts off your pipes and radiator.

6. How about a 3 foot alligator, in Idaho! Was playing on the ST1100 at work, call it playing because I just patrol to be visible, going through an area along the river with a bunch of hot springs. Came around a curve and saw what looked like a log in the road, but one end moved and had two reflective dots. Got stopped and saw what was and tried to back pedal. It turned and scooted back into brush. Turned out to be an attempted theft from a private farm by high school kids. For years didn’t know why they called that place a gator farm, do now. Raises them to about 3 feet for boots.

7. A month ago, riding in the N. California coastal hills with a buddy, I pulled over and my buddy came alongside saying he had to clean off his jacket. What? Turns out about a mile back a buzzard had lifted off ahead of him carrying a huge load of purified road kill. It flew low over my pal and suddenly dropped his load like a precision bomb, a direct hit. It was about the consistency of jelly and so putrid I almost puked while helping wipe it off his jacket. We rode on a couple miles further to a small lake where we were able to wash off the worst of it while flies buzzed around us.

8. Downhill, country road twisty at a high rate of speed. Not one but TWO peacocks in full plumage centered in my lane! They flew up and I drove under them!

9. Narrowly missed a mirror off of the car in front me when an oncoming car sideswiped it at highway speeds. Dodged oncoming, ducked under flying mirror, dodged car in front of me after they locked up their brakes.

10. Riding along a dirt lane to a campground in Steelevile MO, what I thought was a mass of about 40 to 50 dragonflies hovering and darting around over the middle of the road turned out to actually be a mass of humming birds. I never slowed down since bug guts never really bothered me. But I recognized what they were as I rode through the cloud of birds. Never touched a one of them as they simply just parted enough to let me through. It didn’t even faze them and they returned to their buzzing over the middle of the road as if nothing ever happened.

Wow–totally cool about the hummingbirds. I’m sure he would have hated massacring a bunch of those little guys. So there you have it. Ride carefully, it’s dangerous out there!

Biker Quote for Today

When people talk about how many times I’ve gone down . . . yeah, but did I die?

What’s up ahead? You never know.

OK, more crazy things people have encountered when riding. It’s kind of a zoo out there, actually. (These are from Adventure Rider.)

• I was headed north on I-5 when the top of an RV peeled off like a tuna can lid. A wall about twelve feet tall of aluminum and interior stood erect in the middle lane and the piece was sliding at about eighty miles an hour. Sparks were spitting out from under it. I was lucky that I was riding the inside lane because a diesel was in the outside lane and he was jack-knifing his trailer in order to avoid it. I only had enough time to see it coming in the center lane.
• Heading South on US 83 in West Texas, a pickup was pulling a grain cart heading North and the hitch pin bounced out, cart came across my lane. Full brake lock and came way too close.
• (Same guy) Heading West on I-70 in Kansas at night and saw headlights/taillights/headlights about a half mile down the road. I knew a car had crashed so was fully aware and getting ready to stop and help, but this fire ball was still coming towards me and not slowing down at all. I was trying to figure out what the hell when I realized it was a pickup missing the front driver wheel. Some lunatic was driving the wrong way on an interstate highway at night with no lights. He had hit a suv head on which was the crash I had seen, the highway patrol chased him another 10 miles before they got him stopped.
• Man, I wish I had a picture of this one. Making my last left turn on my 86 mile commute home, 5 mile zone of death and am paying extra attention. I have a green, catch movement from the right, it’s 11 o’clock at night, bicycle riding against traffic runs the light, process and wait for him to go by, then fireworks thrown into intersection by bicyclist, ok I’m too tired for this, start to go, wait what? Bicycle is towing a 12 foot canoe and I almost rode right through it. This.Is.California.
• If any of you have ever been near the Mississippi River (northern part) in the spring, you know all about May flies. Those things FILL the air to the point that after just a few miles, you are literally covered in dead bug juice….the Iowa DOT goes as far as to put signs up showing a mayfly on the road, with the word “Slippery”…and it CAN be….absolutely disgusting cleaning cooked bug guts off your pipes and radiator.
• How about a 3 foot alligator, in Idaho! Was playing on the ST1100 at work, call it playing because I just patrol to be visible, going through an area along the river with a bunch of hot springs. Came around a curve and saw what looked like a log in the road, but one end moved and had two reflective dots. Got stopped and saw what was and tried to back pedal. It turned and scooted back into brush. Turned out to be an attempted theft from a private farm by high school kids.
• A month ago, riding in the N. California coastal hills with a buddy, I pulled over and my buddy came alongside saying he had to clean off his jacket. What? Turns out about a mile back a buzzard had lifted off ahead of him carrying a huge load of purified road kill. It flew low over my pal and suddenly dropped his load like a precision bomb, a direct hit. It was about the consistency of jelly and so putrid I almost puked while helping wipe it off his jacket. We rode on a couple miles further to a small lake where we were able to wash off the worst of it while flies buzzed around us.
• It was down in New Mexico on I-25 heading north around sunrise, I saw three golden eagles in the median eating breakfast. I passed some small car just as I got to them, they saw me and took flight. Two went almost vertical, but Larry the lazy eagle headed right in front of me! I watched him as he looked over his right wing and realized he better alter his flight plan.

  First order of business, lighten the load and then go vertical. He took a s–t and I watched it hit my left hand, continue up my left arm, and cross my face as his butthole and lower legs grazed the top of my helmet. I pulled over onto the shoulder and my girlfriend-who was following on her own bike-looked at me and I could see she was in pain from trying not to laugh out loud.

  I had worn an open faced helmet that trip-it was f—ing hot-and without even thinking about it, I licked my lips. Did you know that eagle s–t has a slightly butterscotch flavor to it? Who knew? My girlfriend was no longer in pain. She was laughing out loud.

  I no longer wear open faced helmets and she and I are no longer together.

• Riding along a dirt lane to a campground in Steelevile MO, what I thought was a mass of about 40 to 50 dragonflies hovering and darting around over the middle of the road turned out to actually be a mass of humming birds. I never slowed down since bug guts never really bothered me. But I recognized what they were as I rode through the cloud of birds. Never touched a one of them as they simply just parted enough to let me through. It didn’t even faze them and they returned to their buzzing over the middle of the road as if nothing ever happened.

Biker Quote for Today

The most dangerous place on earth is between a biker and his bike.

You do NOT want to hit one of these guys.

Oh my god that was close!

Yeah, we’ve all said that one time or another. So of course there’s a thread on Adventure Rider where folks tell their tales. Here once again I dip into the thread to pass along some other people’s oh-my-god-that-was-close stories.

• I was riding over 8700′ Ebbett’s Pass on Highway 4 in the California Sierras. Came around this corner and there was a big brown cow standing on the steep hillside on my right, and as I approached the corner she lost her footing, slipped and rolled sideways down the hill and ended up in my path. I was able to brake hard and swerve and miss her. Man did she look scared, poor thing! She got up and staggered off to the other side of the road, none the worse for wear.
• Chickens. Crossing the road. True story.
• Coming out of New Mexico on 550 just crossed into Colorado ,came around a curve ,there was three portapotties laying in the road. just had room to go in between two of them.
• I destroyed a barbecue grill with my first bike. I pulled into the garage, put the stand down and as I stepped off I planted my foot in a fresh spot of oil. I fell forward onto the tank, pushing the bike forward, somehow folding the stand again, and falling over. Fortunately it was 1980 and I had a tall sissy bar than folded my dad’s barbecue grill into a neat V shape. I had been riding for approximately one month at that point.
• Dragon fly; not strange at all, but he was still alive and crawling around inside my helmet. He was still distracting me when I nearly struck the moose.
• One dark stormy night in the early 70’s I’d nipped out on my old mans Honda C50 step thru. On the way home there was a queue of cars in front of me so I did what any impatient 17 year old would do and rode slowly past them. Suddenly I was off the bike and sitting on my arse in the middle of the road. Unknown to me, the storm had brought a tree down which in turn brought down some phone lines which were hanging just at neck height. Due to it being dark and raining I hadn’t seen them but luckily I’d been going slowly when I was almost garotted. No harm done apart from a black line on my neck from ear to ear.
• I was riding a ’79 KZ650 (fantastic bike by the way) down I-40 toward Knoxville out of Strawberry Plains, Tennessee when I had to lay on the tank to let a huge goose fly over me from the right. The bird continued on about 6 feet above the road across the median to the east-bound lanes and directly into the path of a semi in the fast lane. The collision occurred behind me so I didn’t see it, but I looked over my shoulder and saw thousands of feathers streaming off the sides and top of the truck as it drove on.
• About two years ago, Hwy 20 between Boise and Idaho City. Came around a left sweeper and the road was brownish and looked like it was moving. Crickets! About a 1/2 mile path, across all lanes. Slippery and gross! Didn’t crash but was a great reason to wash the KLR.
• …..the sun was low and behind me…….a woman was on the ‘sidewalk’ to my side and was looking directly at me, she’s seen me……I got closer and she stepped straight into my path……I hit her at 30mph……..she was ok…….but !!!.. It turned out she suffered badly from a sight defect and was trying to cross the road to a meeting for the ‘blind’ and she didn’t see me for the low sun……..I was riding a police bike at the time……I felt bad……….judge me.
• That was nothing, though, compared to the infamous Chicken Guts Ride, as it came to be known. Myself and a couple buddies were riding bicycles and going pretty hard. We were all in shape back then, just past our road racing primes. Pete and I had dropped our friend Jon on a climb and were out of the saddles pumping hard up the hill when, suddenly, we found ourselves riding through rotted chicken innards spread all across the roadway–the stench in the sun was ungodly. Chicken guts on hot asphalt make for an extraordinarily slick riding surface, and so we were forced to sit back down in our saddles–otherwise, our rear wheels just spun when we pedaled. Even in the saddles, our wheels spun a fair amount and, so we slowed to a bare crawl, struggling to stay upright and hoping we’d get through it before the incline and gravity did their work and we fell into the mess. We made it–the worst of it was 50-75 feet long or so, but it seemed an eternity. We probably should have warned Jon, but we figured it would be more fun to watch and so we did. He made it, too, with plenty of loud curses.

Yes, there are totally unexpected adventures awaiting you out there. Stay alert.

Biker Quote for Today

If you can still hear your fears, shift a gear.

This is nothing like the herd we ran into on the OFMC trip a few years ago.

I’m going to share a secret: When I don’t have any thoughts on something to write about I fall back on a few tried and true topics. This is one of those times. It’s time for the latest in strange things bikers have hit, courtesy of the Adventure Riders forum.

We all know there are hazards on the road out there. Here are some that other folks have actually encountered.

• Wile E. Coyote. Riding an HP2 I had just bought in Denton Texas. Just outside Midland Texas on I-20. There was a ton of traffic and it was gusty as hell. :eek1 I tucked in behind an 18 wheeler and then a dickweed got right on my ass. I got closer to the semi but the wind buffeting was making it rough at 65-70 mph we were running. I eased over into the center of the lane where it was much smoother and started to back off the semi. Just as I did the semi trailer seemed to do a slight swerve and it caught my attention. Just then a coyote came rolling down the dead center of the lane like a rolling pin. The truck rolled him and all I had the time to do was grab a breath and relax. I felt a slight thump as I rolled right over him mid-section. I heard the ass behind me lock them up but didn’t look to see what happened. I was just ecstatic that I didn’t go down and was alive. I laughed till I was crying. Strange days in West Texas!
• Around 3am, while driving in left lane of an interstate and in a very dark rural area, a male jumped up from tall grass in the center median. He was shirtless, in jeans and had very long hair. He ran into my lane while swinging a sock over his head, with a heavy object inside. He missed me and I missed him by inches, swerving sharply right to avoid him- scared the hell out of me as I tried to maintain control with left and right sliding.
• Went to pick up my wife’s then new CM400A, and we stopped for dinner. parked next to the car, and took off my helmet. Bike was still idling. Put my helmet ont he mirror, and it started going forward. I was dumstruck on what to do other than hobble along with it and finally cut the engine, after i hopped the curb and hit the door.
• Years ago on a long ride up to the Yukon in very heavy rain I’m sure I was passed by a forty ton goldfish. I found somewhere to sleep soon after that.
• Just recently had the contents of the rear axle on a semi spat at me, almost took me out for keeps.
• I came around a tight dirt corner and had just enough time to see him before I ran him over. Stretched out six foot long bull snake, but they look like rattlers from a dirt bike. He arched a horseshoe like in a cartoon. Scared the crap outa me.
• My face…….. After learning why rebound valving is important and slowwwwwwwwwwly sliding over front fender as 1984 CR125 plodded merrily along in 5th gear.
• It was a flying armadillo. While riding through LA (lower Arkansas) one night late, the Ford Explorer in front of me swerved towards the shoulder. Well, an armadillo LAUNCHED from his R rear wheel straight towards me. I was riding up pretty high on a 1100GS. It came directly over the windscreen and I was just able to duck or it would have easily taken me off the bike. I was pushing on to Texarkana but after that I stopped at the next motel.
• Me… About 1/2 mile in to the start of a desert race along with about 400 others. I killed my bike on the start and was near the back of the pack, wound out on my 1989 CR500 trying to make up for lost time (I had the hole-shot the year before). Too late I saw a big rock and nailed it straight on. Flew over the bars and bounced – several times. Ended up sitting upright facing forward. A split second later the lights went out. My bike hit me square in the back. I woke up looking at the sky wondering when the feeling would come back. Luckily only a concussion.

You know the deal: be careful out there. You never know what might be around that next curve.

Biker Quote for Today

If you think riding gets the adrenalin pumping, try getting a wasp in your helmet.

Yeah, aren't you glad you weren't coming the other direction right at this moment!

It’s been quite a while so I figured it was time to see what weird stuff people have encountered on the road lately. This is from an Adventure Riders thread. Weirdness ahead.

• We pulled out of the restaurant and headed down the road with a little bit of on-coming traffic. One of those vehicles was a small pickup truck (think the old Rangers or Toyotas) with a canoe on a top rack and tied to each bumper. As we closed on the truck, the rope on the rear bumper came loose, the canoe lifted off the rack, came down on our side of the truck and swung out across our lane, sweeping the road. Not much of a shoulder on those country roads so we all headed for the ditch. I don’t remember anyone getting hurt but I do remember having to pull a couple of those bikes back up on the pavement.
• Two traffic barrels with the ST1300. I thought I was being clever… just a tad too fast for the maneuver. I got to look like a jackass in front of a bunch of stopped traffic. Had to stop about a mile down the road to re-attach my mirror housings.
• Whilst riding through some of the most beautiful New Zealand scenery early one winters morning just out of Queenstown a sheep fell from an 40-50 foot cliff and landed on my handle bars sending me an my new Suzuki GT750 down the road. I didn’t have a clue what happened but a following driver reported it as she saw the lot. Damage was surprising minimal to the bike as the sheep some how fell under the bike and literally wore itself out protecting my bike.
• While riding down an icy back road at 45 mph on my 125 Honda following a snowmobile his track broke and came out and up right at my head. I ducked and it just barely cleared my head. He crashed in a ditch, no brakes!
• Almost got decapitated once by a slab of ice 7 feet wide by 18 feet long that slid off the roof of a bread truck.
• My dad was giving a guy a ride one time, and a bird was flying across the road… He yelled duck! And then pasted himself to the tank. The guy on the back, he was looking straight up trying to find the duck… Took him right off the bike. Just a little bird – imagine what a flying turkey could do!
• Big fat buzzard at 60mph. It blasted about $500 worth of lights right of my bike. Stupid jerk buzzard.
• 17 yrs old…driving home from work on the QEW in Burlington, ON….averaging around 125km/h on my ’78 CB750F Super sport….pickup in front of me hits a bump and an empty 5 gal bucket goes straight up out of his box and tumbles end over end in the air and takes me full in the chest…. felt like I got hit with a 2×4 across the ribs…kept on trucking and now have a bucket sitting straight up on my gas tank against my chest between my arms…wtf??…. took the next offramp and threw it in the ditch….a few bruises…
• A green heron, from behind. I was riding my KTM along the edge of a corn field. There was some tall grass and a small stream on my right. He bolted out of the stream, then turned and headed in the same direction as me, but I overtook him and he landed in my lap. I’m still not sure who was more surprised. He donated a few feathers, squawked a bit and then thundered off.
• Many Moons Ago I Decided to race a small (3ft) kangaroo hopping parallel to a dirt road I was riding. When we got to about 30mph he decided to hop on to my tank! WTF for a moment there we were eye ball to eye ball. Not wearing the right cloths he gashed my leg as we crashed, he left me to ride my bike into the ground.

____________________________________

OK, those last three have some interesting similarities. Strange stuff.

And now I have a quote that I also pulled out of this thread.

Biker Quote for Today

When it comes to deciding to hit or avoid animals, the rule is if you can eat it all in one sitting then hit, if multiple then try to avoid.

I didn't come close to hitting this guy, but he was standing only about 15 feet away as I carefully slipped by him. And this was in Nebraska!

What’s the strangest thing you ever hit–or nearly hit–on your bike? That’s the question that launched a long-running thread on the Adventure Riders forum, and periodically I go there to pass along some of the more interesting things people tell about. Let’s go!

OK, enough fun and games for today. (Yeah, fun. Right.) As we all know, it’s dangerous out there. Be careful.

Recent from National Motorcycle Examiner
Butler Maps Northern California map is an eye-opener

Biker Quote for Today

Your attitude makes an adventure out of a difficult situation. So, its all in your head.