Stuff in the Road — Watch Out!

All righty, time again for the weirdest stuff bikers have hit or almost hit. As always, these adventures come from a thread on the Adventure Riders forum. We’ll dive right in.
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burro in the roadBack in the ’80s I was riding with a friend in Southern California. We were blitzing down a highway and he ran over a half-eaten burrito still in the bag some prick tossed out. He kicked it up with his rear tire and it slapped me in the face. I had my visor open and when I got the wet, stinky slap..it managed to come unwrapped to some degree and spray fermented bean and other assorted fillings upside my face and helmet.
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It was night, doin’ about 50 down Rt 20 with helmet and shield when I see something diving for my light, tried to duck, hit me square in the visor, liked to knocked me off the bike, blood, guts mess, I wipe away, something sharp in visor. I get back to the garage and I found the beak of what I think was a hummingbird snapped off, inbedded in the visor, and penetrated it by about 1/4 inch.
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Here in Phoenix on the I-10 I was able to barely avoid a new computer in a box that fell from the back of a truck I was following. Thankfully I tend to keep plenty of room and I was just changing lanes. The combination of the two saved my bacon. It was close, as I felt it graze my left boot.
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Four of us were riding in northern Wisconsin. We were on dual-sports in the woods on partially overgrown two-track. A black bear sprung from the brush. Stories vary if you listen to rider #3 who hit it and rider #4 who saw it about whether it came from the right or left. Regardless, the bear ran along side the cycle for a few steps then cut in front of the front tire. The bear was t-boned and somersaulted. The bike when down and the rider went over the handlebars. Rider #4 said his first thought was what he should do when the bear stood up and faced them. But the bear did immediately run off. The whole event was only 4-5 seconds.
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While competing in an observed trial recently a bee flew into my face as I was riding the loop trail. It hit perfectly between my cheek and the liner of my open face helmet and wedged itself in just below my right ear. Not only was it stinging me repeatedly but the sound of an angry bee inside my helmet right by my ear was nearly deafening. As I was approaching the next section I stepped off my still moving bike and pulled my helmet off, threw it down wile swatting alongside my head and swearing loudly. The observer probably thought I was having a flashback to a bad acid trip.
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I was behind a moving caravan (weekend drunken buddies in multiple trucks) when the tail gate came down dumping the items from the bed into my path. I was far enough behind to have plenty of time and watch the entertainment as the lawnmower came rolling out…followed by the dryer…..followed by the chest of drawers…….
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Turkey in flight. I followed it down a dirt road at 20 miles an hour, for nearly 50 yards, right on its tail feathers. They should stick to walking, they can’t fly for shit.
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This morning I missed going thru a gaggle of geese. There must have been 50 crossing geese crossing the road 3 to 4 deep. I came around the curve at 70 mph and there they were. I went thru them, but missed hitting any of them. They scattered around and went on off the road before anything else happened.
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I was hauling ass down a fire road in my younger days, just about to run over a yucca stalk when it started wiggling. It was a friggin 6′ rattlesnake sunning itself on the road.
I don’t think I helped it any hitting it square in the middle but I didn’t stop to ask if he was OK.
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Scored a double point bonus last week in Waco. I was coming down the road next to the Dr. Pepper Museum when a squirrel and a pursuing angry sparrow came right in my path. I hit both at the same time. Sparrow bounced off, and continued to fly, squirrel not so lucky.
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One moonless night I wast east bound on Texas 290 just outside Houston. There it is a two lane with median barrier and brand new. A truck was stopped on the right shoulder with its back up lights on. I was in the right lane clipping along at my usuall 80 MPH and moved into the left lane to give a wide berth. Suddenly I realized they were stopped because they had just dropped a dark blue love seat in the middle of the left lane. I dropped anchor and was able to serve around the thing but it was close.

If you will notice, there is always a bunch of trash on the road around the end of the month. This is because this is when people move themselves from one residence to another.
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Riding down through Pennsylvania to visit a friend in Bethlehem, a loud ‘thwack’ announced the impact of a firefly on my face shield, then two more. I shut the lights off for a moment to confirm that the green glowing effect all over my field of vision was not a hallucination.
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Here are the other flying object posts:
Motorcycles and Flying Objects
More Flying Object Tales
Latest Tales of Flying Object Encounters
Even More Tales of Flying Objects
Look! Up in the Sky! More Flying Object Tales
Did You See What I Almost Hit?

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In the end, it’s all about the stories.

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