Passes & Canyons Blog

Bike Week in Daytona.

I haven’t gone after this thread in a while: What stupid things do people ask you when you’re on your motorcycle? Let’s dig in.

• A guy in a weird car with lights and stuff, stops me and asks: Do you know how fast you were going?
• The other day in a shopping center parking lot, a guy asks me if that is my bike. As I’m mounting up, I say “no…but it’s about to be.”
• A few years ago, I was refueling in West Yellowstone on a bleak, 45° very rainy day. Across the pump island, was the father of a bunch gassing up the family minivan. The Dodge was literally rocking from all the kids jumping around inside. Mr. Griswold looked over at me, kinda smirked and said, “I’ll bet you’d like to trade with me right now.” I smiled and said, “Let me ask you: Has every day of your marriage been like your honeymoon?” He thought for a second and replied, “I get it.”
• When people ask me how fast my bike can go, I usually say, “I don’t know.” People don’t really know how to respond, so they just look at me. Sometimes they’ll ask me in a condescending tone how I don’t know, then I’ll tell them, “I may be slow, but I’m alive.”
• Situation: It’s getting toward dusk/dinner time, and has begun to rain. Q: “How are you going to get home?!?” A: “I put on my pants, jacket, helmet, gloves, turn the key, start the engine, then start my normal riding onto the road from the parking lot, and take the way I normally take. Its really quite simple.” Questioner: “Huh?”
• A few years back I was riding with 2 buddies in the Texas Hill County. As we approached a town we slowed down. Unfortunately not enough as the cop clocked us at 101. Another mph and we would have been arrested. The stupid question came when the cop asked how fast the bikes could go. Given the situation we declined to answer.
• I usually leave my helmet on when I ride the elevator on my way to work, to free up my hands and not bang it into the sides of the crowded elevator. So this guy says “You ride your motorcycle to work today?” and I said “No, just being real safe in my truck!”
• Many moons ago while on a Suzuki a guy walks by and says, wow, I didn’t know Suzuki used the same motors as Kawasaki’s, looking puzzled I assured him that they each made their own power plants, he said no they both use motors made by “Dohock,” as he pointed to the DOHC cast into the end cover.
• I was asked the dreaded “Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?” by an LAPD motor officer. I had been making way too good of time down a mid morning freeway (about 90 indicated) and I actually laughed and said “I sure do.” Ended up with a warning and a nice conversation with a fellow rider.
• Q: “Did you drive them all the way from Germany?” A: “Yes, but we had to change the water tires in New York.”

People say there are no stupid questions. I’m not so sure.

Biker Quote for Today

“Animals travel on all fours. Mankind on two. Motorcycling is not a means of transport but an ideology, a nomadic way of life.” -– Amit Reddy