Passes & Canyons Blog

Racing at Vintage Motorcycle Days a few years ago.

I admit that I’m sitting here today needing to get a Thursday post up but I have no ideas. So this will be a bit of a re-hash but I hope you don’t mind. I’ve been putting out blog posts regularly for more than 10 years and almost from the very beginning I have included a Biker Quote for Today. Here are some all time goodies.

The only thing better than a motorcycle is two motorcycles.

Happiness isn’t around the corner, it is the corner.

“I don’t feel like going for a ride today.” — said no motorcycle rider ever

Dirt bikes are not for wimps. They are, however, quite suitable for the clinically insane.

Helmet not wore when go ride, and no damaging so far brain yet!

The shortest distance between two points is for people who can’t ride.

“But officer, bikes fall over if they aren’t going fast.”

Love is the feeling you get when you like something as much as your motorcycle. Have you ever been in love?

To ride or not to ride? That is a stupid question.

People tell me I have a motorcycle problem. I tell them, I may have problems, but motorcycles are the solution.

Must work to afford Bikethings.

Don’t stop riding until you get to the crash; you might save it!

Adventure is what happens when you thought you were going to have a good time.

I have no idea where we are, but at least it’s getting dark.

It’s our job. Burnin’ gasoline, killin’ bugs, and wearing out tires!

I don’t ride because I have a death wish, I ride because I wish to live.

MOTORCYCLES: created to keep us from choking the idiots around us.

Don’t let my motorcycle ride interfere with the safety of your phone call.

Time spent on a motorcycle is not deducted from your lifespan.

OK. I hope you got a grin or two out of that. Now here’s the latest one for today.

Biker Quote for Today

You might be a Yuppie biker if you stop 30 miles from Sturgis to unload your bike so you can ride in.

Unpublished on Examiner.

For five years now I have written for Examiner.com as their National Motorcycle Examiner, though of late I’ve been doing a minimum of work for them. Here’s an example of why.

I was putting up an article recently and found that when I filtered my content list for just the unpublished pieces there was more than the one I was working on. Turns out someone down there in their infinite wisdom decided to unpublish a piece I put up in 2010, presumably because it contained objectionable material. Now? After all this time? And what was objectionable about it?

So I’m going to republish it right here and let you see if you can figure out what they decided they didn’t like.

Only a biker knows . . .: Motorcycle wit and wisdom, #15

Dang, those bikers are quotable. It all started with the line, “Only a biker knows why a dog sticks its head out the window” and now we’re back with out 15th batch of amusing, sometimes thought-provoking, frequently dead-on biker quotes. Enjoy.

• You ain’t livin’ unless you’re livin’ on the edge.
• Bounce like you’ve got hydraulics in your G-string.
• Never look where you are going, always look where you want to go.
• On a motorcycle, you’re penetrating distance right along with the machine. In a car, you’re just a spectator; the windshield’s like a TV. — Von Dutch
• If it’s too loud you’re too old.
• You’re a biker wannabe if you spit out the bug that just flew in your mouth.
• Some people ride to enjoy life, some ride to travel, and some people ride to bars.
• Don’t die wondering, die wandering.
• Adventure is not the road we travel, it’s the obstacles we overcome.
• At the end of the day, you’ve still got to twist that throttle.
• Gravity: Obeying the law is for pussies.
• I don’t know, it’s kinda weird, but the constant chest pains seem to go away when I let the clutch out on my bike.
• Scars are tattoos with better stories!
• Remember kiddies, bikers have more fun than people.
• Remember when sex was safe and motorcycles were dangerous?
• If motorcycles are not allowed in heaven then I’ll ride mine to hell.
• Midnight bugs taste just as bad as noon time bugs.
• I’m a highway junkie! Lord, I love a white line!!!
• Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today. — James Dean
• It’s not the bike so much as it’s the rider. Put the stock pistons back in the bike and quit messing with stuff you don’t understand.

OK, there you go. Something in there is pretty offensive, right? My best guess is that it’s that line about gravity, and they got some cock-eyed idea that it was referring to female anatomy as opposed to being a synonym for wussies or wimps or something like that. There are a lot of reasons I don’t write much for them anymore and this is just one more on the list. Too bad, it was a good gig for a while.

Biker Quote for Today

Motorcycles are better than men because motorcycles don’t pass gas and belch all the time. If they do, you can do something about it.

Gwen wouldn't think twice about taking this road.

If you’ve been reading this blog you know that I end each post with a “Biker Quote for Today.” I gather these quotes from a lot of places. Some I just run across; others I find by searching. One of my most fertile places to search is the discussions on Adventure Riders, or ADV for short.

More than most motorcycle forums, the ADV folks really get into putting cool, funny, interesting remarks in their signatures. Anytime I’m on the site I keep my eyes open to see what gems I can find.

One such gem was the quote I used on Oct. 22, at the end of my “Hoping For Warm Hands In Winter Riding” post. It read, “There’s no adventure in turning around. — Shoganai”

Well guess who I heard from: Gwen Phillips (aka Shoganai).

Gwen said she had been searching on Google “for an old thread I started on an old forum years ago” and lo and behold, “I was stunned to find something I said to Jim aka Drif10 this year when he came to visit our home.” So she was tickled and wrote that she was honored to be quoted.

And actually, I had heard first from Drif10. He noted in regard to Gwen’s quote that, “And she isn’t kidding about that quote, either. She’ll take a road bike places that make me think twice about taking my dirt bike into.”

Good for you Gwen.

This is actually the second time I’ve heard from someone I quoted. Believe me, I really enjoy getting these emails. And I really enjoy the quotes. Some day I’m going to put together a book with the quotes and pictures that match the quotes, more or less. Really, I am. I’ve already got part of it done. But at this rate it will be a few more years before I finish it. I guarantee that when it’s ready you’ll hear about it here.

Recent from National Motorcycle Examiner
Book review: How to Ride Off-Road Motorcycles

Biker Quote for Today

Bones heal, chicks dig scars, pain is temporary, glory is forever. — Evel Knievel