Did You Ride That Thing Here? No, I Pushed It

I wish I could say I shot this photo yesterday but I didn’t. I’m missing it all this year.

Since I’m not able to ride again yet (four more weeks!) I’m running a little dry, so as I do at times like this I have turned again to threads on the Adventure Riders forum. This is the one titled “Stupid questions people ask you when stopped.” Time for some amusement.

  • I had a Gold Wing Aspencade once. I insulated the left saddlebag with thin styrofoam to make it into an ice chest. It worked quite well. It would keep 24 cans of beer ice cold for 2 days in the hottest of summer weather. My buddies and I pulled into a gas station and, with the bike on the side stand, it started to drip. A passerby noticed the puddle under the bike and asked if the bike had air conditioning. “Yes,” I replied, “It does.”
  • I’m standing next to the bike again in full ATTGATT and somebody asks “Your bike?” – I say Nooooo, it’s my Granny’s.
  • After being pulled over by the local Police who have seen me on the DR a couple hundred times by now… “Is that thing street legal?” Me = Nope, it just has lights and a plate because I like the extra weight!
  • Yesterday. It was raining, Grey and an all around dreary day. As I walked into a gas station dripping all over the place some guy speaks up: I bet you wish you are in a car today don’t ya?
    Me: That is a bet you would lose. (stepped to the counter and paid for purchase)
    Him: What do ya mean? You can’t be enjoying yourself!
    Me: You’ve never ridden a motorcycle have you? (Laughed and turned to walk out)
    Clerk: He rides every day rain or shine and always has a smile.
  • One Sunday morning I was out for a ride in the Colorado back roads. The morning was fantastic and I had seen nary another driver. Coming over a hill and looking down, an officer of the law was sitting, apparently also enjoying the lonely Sunday morning. I was well in excess of the posted speed limit. I pulled up to him and stopped. He got out of his car and walked across the road to me. “Nice morning for a ride.”
    “Yes sir,” I said.
    “If you would slow up some you will have many more.”
    “Yes sir,” I said.
    “Have a nice day,” he said, and walked back to his car.
    It was a great day.
  • Last week, it’s snowing like hell and I stop at a light while riding to work. (already 2 inches on the road, no studs B.T.W.) and the yuck next to me asks out his rolled down window… “You know it’s snowing don’t you?” Me = “Nah! Hadn’t noticed.”
  • I was driving my 1200 LT and notice that a guy was following me in his car. At a red light he pulls over and says: Wowww what a bike! For that money you might have bought a car instead!
  • Stopped at a gas station today… some random guy came up and ask me if my 1982 BMW R65LS was a Harley Davidson… :huh? I guess the BMW badge on the tank, tail, bikini fairing and on my license plate bracket wasn’t enough of a hint that it wasn’t an HD. I toyed with the guy saying “Yeah, it’s one of those boxer twins that HD is FAMOUS for…” and rode off.
  • My ride is an FJR1300. Not the fastest or most powerful bike on the planet, but definitely no slouch. Was at a gas station one day and a guy walks up to me and asks “Do you need all that power or do you just want it?” “Both,” I replied.
  • I kid you not, I was stopped at an intersection with two other guys on bikes and a troglodyte waltzes up and asks “are those motorcycles?”

OK, calling it a day. Hope you got a chuckle.

Biker Quote for Today

Bike to work. Bike to play. Bike tomorrow. Bike today.

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