Passes & Canyons Blog

Do you suppose these guys are swapping jokes?

Before I get started, here is a humorous note. I decided I would search the web and come up with some biker jokes. I looked at a lot of sites and copied a bunch that I liked. Then I came across a link to my own blog–this blog. It was from 2008 and it was a post with biker jokes. Well, I clicked through and there in that 2008 post were three of the very same jokes I had copied and intended to use today. Doh!

OK, time for some humor.

How can you tell when a Gold Wing rider is having an affair? His helmet doesn’t match the passenger’s.

Q: How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
A: They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.

Q: What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
A: The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? A Yam-Hee-Haw.

A ten year old boy was walking down the street when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside him and asks, “Hey kid, wanna go for a ride?”
“No!” said the boy, and he kept walking.
The motorcyclist pulls up to him again and says “Hey kid, I’ll give you $10 if you hop on the back.”
“No!” said the boy and he proceeded down the street a little quicker.
The motorcyclist pulls up to the boy again and says, “OK kid, I’ll give you $20 and a big bag of candy if you hop on the back for a ride.”
At this point, the boy turns around to him and screams angrily, “Look Dad, YOU bought the Honda, so YOU ride it!”

A biker is riding along a country lane, when a sparrow flies up in front of him. The biker can’t do anything and hits the sparrow. As he looks
in his rear view mirror, he sees the sparrow lying in the road. Being the kind of guy he is, he stops, picks up the sparrow and takes it home and
puts it in a cage, still in a coma. When the sparrow wakes up the following morning, he looks through the bars of the cage and says, “Dang! I must have killed the biker.”

Q: What is a Harley Davidson rider’s favorite type of wood?
A: MaHOGany

This big ugly biker walks into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder, orders a beer and a shot. The bartender sets him up and says, “That’s really cool, where did you get him?”
“Sturgis.” Replied the parrot, “They’re all over the friggin’ place!”

And here, for the last one, is one I especially like.

Badass Biker Bob wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bob looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”
So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Bob asks, “Son, what happened last night?”
His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”
Confused, Badass Bob asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”
His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’m married!”

Biker Quote for Today

I love my motorcycle — it’s great for getting to the front of queues quicker. It does always terrify the other people in the post office though.

Just search for “motorcycle hand signals” and you’ll find plenty of them.

I got a comment from Mark in regard to my most recent post, wherein I mentioned a rider going the other way tapping the top of his helmet to warn me of a radar trap up ahead. He asked if there were other signals that are used to communicate while riding. I had written about hand signals in a post back in 2008 and I referred him to that post. But that got me to thinking about how it can be good to cycle back to certain topics from time to time because there are always new people coming into motorcycling, as well as readers who didn’t see what I wrote 12 years ago. Just because you wrote about something 12 years ago doesn’t mean you should never mention it again.

On the other hand, I don’t want to just repeat myself. So I figured I would do a Google search for “motorcycle hand signals” and see what showed up. Turns out there are a lot but also not so many. Which is to say, there seems to be one basic chart that you see with many different organizations’ logos slapped on them. That would be one in the image above. I know you can’t read it that small so here’s a link to it.

Here’s a different one, which I linked to in that 2008 post. It’s a gif so it shows motion, which can be useful in understanding just what it is you do.

For the most part, these signals are for things like “start your engines,” “hazard ahead,” and “police ahead.” That’s all well and good, and certainly we should all know and use them. But in some cases there was a little humor injected. In particular, there was this one. Now, I made a decision when I first started this blog not to use language that could be offensive to some people, and this chart is a bit off color. That’s why I’m linking to it, not just dropping it into this post. So you can choose to view it or not.

And here’s another that is similar.

Good for a laugh. But anyway, thanks Mark for giving me a topic for this post. And I also want to mention, any time someone comments on any of my posts, as Mark did, I post a reply. But I’ve never had the blog set up to notify the person I’m replying to that I have replied. Well, I just added such a plug-in. It also works if someone other than me replies to your comment. So hey, comments are always welcome.

Biker Quote for Today

Why bikes are better than women: Motorcycles don’t get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.