More Danger Ahead (Or Above, Or Off To The Side)

May 18th, 2020
motorcycles on the highway

Sure, the road is clear now. But what’s around that curve?

OK, it has been quite awhile since I have done an update on this perennial thread, flying objects or objects on the road. These come from a thread on the Adventure Rider forum.

  • Eels. Some time ago in south east Australia, wriggling across the road. I missed them. Could have been a slippery collision. I thought the first one was just a snake, until I saw a few more. It was raining and apparently these ones live in freshwater but migrate to the Coral Sea to breed.
  • I nearly hit a Red Kite that was swooping down onto a road kill. The bird was so focused on the kill, that it did not see me until the last moment, then it looked straight into my eyes, and scooped the dead rabbit up with one talon, all the time staring me in the eyes, as it started to gain height, I had to duck down to avoid the hit, as I passed just under it.
  • Was following a light truck in the middle lane which I couldn’t see around and I like to be able to see beyond the car in front of me for safety. On the right of me was a fully loaded semi truck which we had both just passed. With just enough distance between the light truck in front of me and the semi in the right lane, I went to switch to the right lane in front of the semi. Unfortunately, there was a steel stool with the legs sticking up about 18″ right where the lane markers are which I baaaaarely missed.
  • About 40 years ago, Kawasaki vertical twin, M4 in England on a sunny morning after a freezing night. About an inch-thick of ice lifted off the top of a container truck in front of me, 40 feet by 8 feet. I saw it lifting and braked onto the shoulder. Cars behind, not so lucky.
  • 100 yards behind an 18 wheeler with empty flatbeds that had heavy plywood inserts in its trailers.
    I saw the wind pick up the edge of one of the inserts and as the wind caught it I watched flip up high into the air.
    In a split second I ducked as it flew over my helmet.
  • A Christmas tree. It was standing in the middle of my driving lane.
  • Whilst riding through some of the most beautiful New Zealand scenery early one winters morning just out of Queenstown a sheep fell from an 40-50 foot cliff and landed on my handle bars sending me and my new Suzuki GT750 down the road.
  • Still when young and stupid — had to get out of a situation by riding through unfamiliar college campus at night on sidewalks at high speed. Hit a 3ft stone wall. That was the end of the KLR.
  • Almost had a skunk strike me in the chest …… truck in front of me ran over the skunk and kicked it up, twirling and spraying headed right at me …… it veered off at the last second.
  • A small tractor. I’m in slow lane, and keep seeing sparks from under the car in front of me; I’m back prolly 150 feet. Figured it was a chain from the trailer being towed in front of him, but could not quite see. Guy pulls out to pass the trailer – too close – maybe 2 car lengths between them. I see the chain dragging and bouncing from a trailer loaded with crap – furniture? Odd shaped stuff? Tarps flapping. And a black mass at the rear – can not really make it out. I punch it to go around the trailer, and as I get closer the chain starts sparking more. Get about 50 feet from it … and the black mass resolves itself as a small tractor, and it falls off. Sparks, sparks, one bounce dead behind the trailer, one bounce to the left, something flies off fast and passes IN FRONT of me at about waist height. I’m thinking crap. This is it. I’m still accelerating, zig hard left, the tractor takes the position where I was, I go to the shoulder edge, straighten it out, and I’m ALIVE! It was prolly only 2-3 seconds, but it seemed like 30.

Yeah, I’ll pass on trying to top that one. Ride safely out there.

Biker Quote for Today

Well, I figure I’ll buy me a motorcycle
Wrap her pretty little frame around a telephone pole
Ride her off a mountain like old Arlo
Figure I’ll buy me a motorcycle
— Colter Wall

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Warm Day For A Cool Ride

May 14th, 2020
motorcycles parked

Taking a break at Tarryall Reservoir.

It was almost hot in Denver Wednesday morning so I selected a mesh jacket, although I left the liner in. I was taking the CB750 and didn’t want to carry the bags so I didn’t have anywhere to put a sweatshirt or anything. It’s a very warm day, right?

Meeting up with the RMMRC there were 10 of us, five Hondas, two Beemers, a Triumph, a Harley, and a Can-Am Spyder. I was sweating standing around waiting to roll. Let’s go to the hills.

Several of the folks reported large numbers of cops out with radar and sure enough we saw a few. A good day to take it easy but that’s not the nature of Bob or Robert, who took turns leading this day. Fortunately no tickets but my 1980 CB has a governor on it and its top speed is 85, and I’ve only hit that speed once in all these years. I had that thing cranked full throttle much of the day.

We went out US 285 to Pine Junction and turned south. Stopped for a break and a snack at Deckers. That was interesting. There were quite a few people around and almost nobody was wearing a mask. The woman clerking the store was, though.

While we were there three guys came in on two big Harleys and a big Beemer. They swung around into their desired position as easy as can be and I said to myself they have got to be motorcycle cops. Almost no one but motorcycle cops handle big bikes that well. I started walking over but before I got there I saw the Colorado State Patrol insignias on their bikes and my question was answered.

We continued on down to Woodland Park and turned west on US 24. At Lake George we turned north to Tarryall Reservoir. We stopped at a parking lot with an outhouse and many of us made use of that facility. When it was my turn I went in and could not believe my eyes. This has got to be, hands down, the nastiest outhouse I have seen in my life. Plus, the door doesn’t close.

I cannot begin to describe the filth but think about this: one of the women in our group used it. She told us she just straddled it and stood above it. But what, did she take her pants completely off? Ponder that one for awhile.

Continuing north we were also gaining altitude and it was getting cool. And I knew we still had to go up Kenosha Pass. I was hoping I wasn’t going to be cursing myself for foolishness. It did get darn chilly but once we got over the top of Kenosha and headed down it warmed up quickly.

We stopped in Bailey for gas and with eight of us now, and six pumps, some of us had to wait. Me. Just before one of us could claim it this young guy on a dirt bike rolled up to one of the pumps. I figured he would fill up quicker than the person on the opposite pump so I waited for him. Well, this guy finished filling his tank and whipped out his cell phone and started fiddling with it. Dude, are you totally clueless? Pull away from the dang pump and let someone else use it! Idiot.

From there it was just a straight shot back down the hill and home. A good day to ride, and the first long ride for me in a while.

Biker Quote for Today

Top 10 signs that a computer is owned by a Harley rider:
10. — The monitor & CPU have been repainted orange and black.

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Posted in Colorado motorcycle rides, Rocky Mountain Motorcycle Riders Club | No Comments »

Yes There Is A Congressional Motorcycle Caucus, But . . .

May 11th, 2020
Congressional Motorcycle Caucus

The header for the Congressional Motorcycle Caucus website.

Congress has any number of specific interest caucuses, groups from both parties who have common interests, and they presumably work together to further those interests. So yes, there is a Congressional Motorcycle Caucus, but I have to wonder how much they focus on these issues.

They have a website. It appears to be an adjunct to the website of one of the chairs, Rep. Michael Burgess, a Republican from Texas. The co-chair is Rep. Tim Walberg of Michigan, also a Republican. Here’s a list of the other members:

Don Bacon (R-NE)
Troy Balderson (R-OH)
G.K Butterfield (D-NC)
Michael Conaway (R-TX)
Rick Crawford (R-AR)
Val Demings (D-FL)
Paul Gosar (R-AZ)
Glenn Grothman (R-WI)
Andy Harris (R-MD)
Denny Heck (D-WA)
Doug Lamborn (R-CO)
Sean Patrick Maloney (D-NY)
Paul Mitchell (R-MI)
Rick Nolan (D-MN)
Donald Norcross (D-NJ)
Scott Perry (R-PA)
Collin Peterson (D-MN)
Chris Stewart (R-UT)
Steve Stivers (R-OH)
Glenn “GT” Thompson (R-PA)

You’ll notice that Colorado’s own Doug Lamborn is a member. Good to have someone from here in the group.

Beyond this, however, if the website is any indication, this group does not appear to be particularly active. You go to the Media Center and there is one press release, dated May 9, 2018. Under Resources/Reports and Documents there is one resolution dated May 21, 2008.

Other than that you get some information about each of the co-chairs, a message from Burgess, and the history of the caucus which reads, in full, “The Congressional Motorcycle Caucus was established in 2008 by Reps. Michael Burgess and Gabby Giffords.”

There’s not much else.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not claiming the group is meaningless. Fact is, I have no idea how active they might be, I’m only looking at what they present to the public. And it may well be that there is very little emphasis on keeping current on the website but they do a lot of work together. If anyone can provide me with further information I’d be happy to pass that along.

As for the Senate, that’s even harder to nail down. I found a release from April 4, 2017, that Joni Ernst (R-IA) and Gary Peters (D-MI) launched a Senate motorcycle caucus but beyond the announcement of the formation I find only an April 2018 notice on the AMA site about the group’s first meeting. Plus a few other similar pieces, with nothing even listing who the other members are. Or maybe Ernst and Peters are the only members.

Again, if anyone knows more than this I’d appreciate hearing from you.

Biker Quote for Today

Never ask a biker for directions if you’re in a hurry to get there.

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Posted in Motorcycle legislation | No Comments »

Time For Some Biker Humor

May 7th, 2020
bikers with fat rear tires

Do you suppose these guys are swapping jokes?

Before I get started, here is a humorous note. I decided I would search the web and come up with some biker jokes. I looked at a lot of sites and copied a bunch that I liked. Then I came across a link to my own blog–this blog. It was from 2008 and it was a post with biker jokes. Well, I clicked through and there in that 2008 post were three of the very same jokes I had copied and intended to use today. Doh!

OK, time for some humor.

How can you tell when a Gold Wing rider is having an affair? His helmet doesn’t match the passenger’s.

Q: How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
A: They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.

Q: What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
A: The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

What do you get when you cross a donkey with a motorcycle? A Yam-Hee-Haw.

A ten year old boy was walking down the street when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside him and asks, “Hey kid, wanna go for a ride?”
“No!” said the boy, and he kept walking.
The motorcyclist pulls up to him again and says “Hey kid, I’ll give you $10 if you hop on the back.”
“No!” said the boy and he proceeded down the street a little quicker.
The motorcyclist pulls up to the boy again and says, “OK kid, I’ll give you $20 and a big bag of candy if you hop on the back for a ride.”
At this point, the boy turns around to him and screams angrily, “Look Dad, YOU bought the Honda, so YOU ride it!”

A biker is riding along a country lane, when a sparrow flies up in front of him. The biker can’t do anything and hits the sparrow. As he looks
in his rear view mirror, he sees the sparrow lying in the road. Being the kind of guy he is, he stops, picks up the sparrow and takes it home and
puts it in a cage, still in a coma. When the sparrow wakes up the following morning, he looks through the bars of the cage and says, “Dang! I must have killed the biker.”

Q: What is a Harley Davidson rider’s favorite type of wood?
A: MaHOGany

This big ugly biker walks into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder, orders a beer and a shot. The bartender sets him up and says, “That’s really cool, where did you get him?”
“Sturgis.” Replied the parrot, “They’re all over the friggin’ place!”

And here, for the last one, is one I especially like.

Badass Biker Bob wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Bob looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: “Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”
So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Bob asks, “Son, what happened last night?”
His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”
Confused, Badass Bob asks, “So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”
His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’m married!”

Biker Quote for Today

I love my motorcycle — it’s great for getting to the front of queues quicker. It does always terrify the other people in the post office though.

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Motorcycle Sign Language

May 4th, 2020
hand signal chart

Just search for “motorcycle hand signals” and you’ll find plenty of them.

I got a comment from Mark in regard to my most recent post, wherein I mentioned a rider going the other way tapping the top of his helmet to warn me of a radar trap up ahead. He asked if there were other signals that are used to communicate while riding. I had written about hand signals in a post back in 2008 and I referred him to that post. But that got me to thinking about how it can be good to cycle back to certain topics from time to time because there are always new people coming into motorcycling, as well as readers who didn’t see what I wrote 12 years ago. Just because you wrote about something 12 years ago doesn’t mean you should never mention it again.

On the other hand, I don’t want to just repeat myself. So I figured I would do a Google search for “motorcycle hand signals” and see what showed up. Turns out there are a lot but also not so many. Which is to say, there seems to be one basic chart that you see with many different organizations’ logos slapped on them. That would be one in the image above. I know you can’t read it that small so here’s a link to it.

Here’s a different one, which I linked to in that 2008 post. It’s a gif so it shows motion, which can be useful in understanding just what it is you do.

For the most part, these signals are for things like “start your engines,” “hazard ahead,” and “police ahead.” That’s all well and good, and certainly we should all know and use them. But in some cases there was a little humor injected. In particular, there was this one. Now, I made a decision when I first started this blog not to use language that could be offensive to some people, and this chart is a bit off color. That’s why I’m linking to it, not just dropping it into this post. So you can choose to view it or not.

And here’s another that is similar.

Good for a laugh. But anyway, thanks Mark for giving me a topic for this post. And I also want to mention, any time someone comments on any of my posts, as Mark did, I post a reply. But I’ve never had the blog set up to notify the person I’m replying to that I have replied. Well, I just added such a plug-in. It also works if someone other than me replies to your comment. So hey, comments are always welcome.

Biker Quote for Today

Why bikes are better than women: Motorcycles don’t get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.

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Posted in Biker Issues | No Comments »

Good Or Bad, Riding Is Back

April 30th, 2020
motorcyclists at a stop

Maintaining social distancing at a stop in Nederland.

I’m torn over how to begin this post. I had been figuring on “We saw a lot of motorcycles up on the Peak to Peak Wednesday.” But then it started shifting toward “Holy smokes there were motorcycles everywhere on Wednesday.” Either way, as you can guess, I finally went on another ride with the RMMRC.

I had been persuaded not to ride for a while by the argument that it was selfish and inappropriate to risk injury at a time when emergency resources were overtaxed. But with things opening up a bit now, and no flooding of the emergency rooms, I figured that argument was no longer valid.

Apparently a lot of other people think the same way.

There were 10 of us in Wednesday’s group: five Hondas, two Beemers, a Concours, a V-Strom, and a Spyder. (Surprisingly, we must have seen about 10 other Spyders this day. That’s a lot.)

We headed out US 287 to C-470 to the Golden Gate Park road, up to the Peak to Peak, to CO 7 running down to Lyons. From Lyons the group scattered as each took their preferred way home.

It was a beautiful day to ride. Still a little cool up on the Peak to Peak, especially at higher altitudes, but never cold. The roads were clean with no ice and no sand. All in all: great.

As you can see in the photo above, at a stop in Nederland, we do take the distancing recommendation seriously.

One thing that has emerged as a real issue on these rides is that in so many places the restrooms are closed. We made a stop right where we hit the Peak to Peak and some of us guys used the woods but there were two women on this ride as well and they were kind of SOL. Maybe that will change now. I know the parking lots for the mountain parks we passed were all full of cars so you would think those restrooms ought to be open. Maybe they were; we didn’t try any of those.

So nothing of any note on the ride but on my way home there were two interesting encounters. I came down CO 93 to head east on US 287 and as I headed east I saw a guy on a bike going the other way who tapped the top of his helmet. Oh really, cops up ahead? Sure enough, there was the guy with the radar gun and two squad cars further down, one in wait and the other issuing a ticket. I hadn’t been going all that fast anyway but I was glad to have slowed down a couple mph so as to pass at a legal speed.

Then as I got into the section where 287 is more urban and has traffic signals I was pulling away as the light went green and heard this roar and some guy on a sport bike blasted past me going really fast. I watched him weave in and out of traffic, splitting lanes when he chose to, and he was gone. But then I caught up with him at the next red light. When that light went green he wheelied out and went blasting out of sight and I caught up with him again at the next red light. Maybe he was just having fun but if he thought he was going to get to his destination quicker I’ve got some news for him.

So yeah, riding is back. Maybe I’ll finally use enough gas that I need to fill up, and can take advantage of some of these incredibly low prices. The lowest I saw Wednesday was $1.39.9. Who would have believed that?!

Biker Quote for Today

100 Reasons not to date a motorcyclist: Speeding tickets.

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Posted in Rocky Mountain Motorcycle Riders Club | 2 Comments »

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