Watch Out–No Telling What’s Ahead
What’s up ahead? You never know.
OK, more crazy things people have encountered when riding. It’s kind of a zoo out there, actually. (These are from Adventure Rider.)
- I was headed north on I-5 when the top of an RV peeled off like a tuna can lid. A wall about twelve feet tall of aluminum and interior stood erect in the middle lane and the piece was sliding at about eighty miles an hour. Sparks were spitting out from under it. I was lucky that I was riding the inside lane because a diesel was in the outside lane and he was jack-knifing his trailer in order to avoid it. I only had enough time to see it coming in the center lane.
- Heading South on US 83 in West Texas, a pickup was pulling a grain cart heading North and the hitch pin bounced out, cart came across my lane. Full brake lock and came way too close.
- (Same guy) Heading West on I-70 in Kansas at night and saw headlights/taillights/headlights about a half mile down the road. I knew a car had crashed so was fully aware and getting ready to stop and help, but this fire ball was still coming towards me and not slowing down at all. I was trying to figure out what the hell when I realized it was a pickup missing the front driver wheel. Some lunatic was driving the wrong way on an interstate highway at night with no lights. He had hit a suv head on which was the crash I had seen, the highway patrol chased him another 10 miles before they got him stopped.
- Man, I wish I had a picture of this one. Making my last left turn on my 86 mile commute home, 5 mile zone of death and am paying extra attention. I have a green, catch movement from the right, it’s 11 o’clock at night, bicycle riding against traffic runs the light, process and wait for him to go by, then fireworks thrown into intersection by bicyclist, ok I’m too tired for this, start to go, wait what? Bicycle is towing a 12 foot canoe and I almost rode right through it. This.Is.California.
- If any of you have ever been near the Mississippi River (northern part) in the spring, you know all about May flies. Those things FILL the air to the point that after just a few miles, you are literally covered in dead bug juice….the Iowa DOT goes as far as to put signs up showing a mayfly on the road, with the word “Slippery”…and it CAN be….absolutely disgusting cleaning cooked bug guts off your pipes and radiator.
- How about a 3 foot alligator, in Idaho! Was playing on the ST1100 at work, call it playing because I just patrol to be visible, going through an area along the river with a bunch of hot springs. Came around a curve and saw what looked like a log in the road, but one end moved and had two reflective dots. Got stopped and saw what was and tried to back pedal. It turned and scooted back into brush. Turned out to be an attempted theft from a private farm by high school kids.
- A month ago, riding in the N. California coastal hills with a buddy, I pulled over and my buddy came alongside saying he had to clean off his jacket. What? Turns out about a mile back a buzzard had lifted off ahead of him carrying a huge load of purified road kill. It flew low over my pal and suddenly dropped his load like a precision bomb, a direct hit. It was about the consistency of jelly and so putrid I almost puked while helping wipe it off his jacket. We rode on a couple miles further to a small lake where we were able to wash off the worst of it while flies buzzed around us.
- It was down in New Mexico on I-25 heading north around sunrise, I saw three golden eagles in the median eating breakfast. I passed some small car just as I got to them, they saw me and took flight. Two went almost vertical, but Larry the lazy eagle headed right in front of me! I watched him as he looked over his right wing and realized he better alter his flight plan.
First order of business, lighten the load and then go vertical. He took a s–t and I watched it hit my left hand, continue up my left arm, and cross my face as his butthole and lower legs grazed the top of my helmet. I pulled over onto the shoulder and my girlfriend-who was following on her own bike-looked at me and I could see she was in pain from trying not to laugh out loud.
I had worn an open faced helmet that trip-it was f—ing hot-and without even thinking about it, I licked my lips. Did you know that eagle s–t has a slightly butterscotch flavor to it? Who knew? My girlfriend was no longer in pain. She was laughing out loud.
I no longer wear open faced helmets and she and I are no longer together.
- Riding along a dirt lane to a campground in Steelevile MO, what I thought was a mass of about 40 to 50 dragonflies hovering and darting around over the middle of the road turned out to actually be a mass of humming birds. I never slowed down since bug guts never really bothered me. But I recognized what they were as I rode through the cloud of birds. Never touched a one of them as they simply just parted enough to let me through. It didn’t even faze them and they returned to their buzzing over the middle of the road as if nothing ever happened.
Biker Quote for Today
The most dangerous place on earth is between a biker and his bike.
