Passes & Canyons Blog

At least in Florida they warn you what to look out for -- panthers.

It seems apropos to revisit this thread from the Adventure Riders forum, “What is the strangest thing you hit/almost hit?” The weather is warm, there are lots of bikes out on the road again, and at least many riders have had the bike put away for the winter.

So this is a cautionary tale, a reminder that stuff happens out there, often when you least expect it. Here are a few things that other riders have encountered.

• A big fat woman in short shorts, about 11 pm doing her best Jesse Owens sprint across the highway. Missed her by a foot probably. Her drunk boy friend was on the other shoulder telling her to get across the road.
• Last week on my way home from work at 3am the road was on fire. 2 small patches about 5 inches each and about 3 feet apart. And not another car to be found anywhere. Was too weird to even stop, went around and kept on heading home. Strange.
• One time coming around a corner in some twisties I came across a sheet of plywood – it was too big to avoid, so had to go over it. As I went across, it started to slide, I started on the inside of the corner and came out near the gutter. I was still maintaining traction, kept my line and everything was normal…it was just that the the road I was on moved 3 feet.
• I was on the Causeway (24mile bridge) coming back from NoLa, and someone threw a dirty (poop-loaded) diaper out the window – right in the face-shield, glad I had leather on that day.
• An unidentified glob of gelatinous goo the size of a small pumpkin off the back of a garbage truck when it went over the railroad tracks. Hit me dead center in the chest. Had to throw away the riding jacket because I couldn’t get the horrible smell out. (even tried the pressure washer at the car wash).
• Traveling down W bound I69 into Flint Michigan, someone had lost a load of pallets in the road. I choose a clear path and thought I had it made till the woman in the van next to me decided my lane looked better than hers. I took the shoulder and a pallet square on. Stayed up, but sent wood and splinters everywhere.
• On I270S heading towards Washington, DC during the morning commute I saw a large wedge of geese heading east. There was a drainage ditch on the east side of the highway that they seemed to be aiming for. Unfortunately, the tour buses that were also heading south did not fit into their computations. The geese hit the buses and soon dead or dying goose missiles were coming at me from all angles. I do not have any idea how I managed to avoid getting hit. I just ducked (hah!) and rode through the onslaught.
• Earlier this summer I hit a black garbage bag kicked up by traffic in front of me. It hit my handlebars and stuck there, flapping right in my face so I couldn’t really see anything at all. Not really a strange thing to hit, all things considered, but definitely not a pleasant thing to hit. At least it wasn’t something heavy or solid, I guess.
• As a teenager years ago I was woods riding with a couple friends when a large black snake dropped from a tree ..and wrapped around my neck. I screamed like a girl, let go of the bike and was ran over by my buddy. Got a couple scars from that one.
• I hit a muffler and later a Porcupine on the same night. Made me start riding a little slower.
• A Dragonfly…well didn’t hit him but it came under my helmet and got trapped inside my face shield…..I couldn’t get it opened fast enough. Pretty weird feeling having a dragonfly bouncing off your face.
• I was riding home from work on 66 from the beltway around D.C. I saw a 5 gallon paint bucket fall off of the back of a paint truck. It started to spin and bounce and I did what I have always heard, aim for it and by the time you get there, it will not be. It just caught my foot peg and broke open. I got just a little on the bike, but the car behind me caught almost the whole bucket worth on his windshield. Wipers didn’t do much and he wound up into the guard rail. I stopped to give my testimony to the Police. That one was pretty wild.

And wow, I didn’t see it coming, but this is the end of this thread. I guess it will be quite awhile before I pull stuff off this one, until a whole bunch more people tell their stories.

Whatever. Be careful out there, you never know what you’ll run into.

Biker Quote for Today

After reading through this thread I’ve come to the conclusion that more people cruise the internet looking for reasons why X bike won’t work in Y scenario rather than actually riding their motorcycles. — RyanR

It’s been awhile since I passed along some of these weird, crazy, scary things people have hit or nearly hit on their bikes. These posts come from the Adventure Riders site. Be careful out there.
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IT425G, I hit a mountain lion on an old RR bed running wide ass open in Colorado, front end was in the air and hit the rock pan. Scared the hell out of me but the old suspension carried me thru. Never saw it coming.
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An ultralight,,,, landed on my head, got a concussion so don’t remember what happened. The guy landed on the road and I hit his tail as he swung into his yard.
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I slid on a big pile of water buffalo shit in a turn, got completely sideways and came within inches of hitting a monk in Thailand on Christmas day about ten years ago. It was the fast reaction of the monk that prevented a really ugly crash.
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I got rearended by a goldwing, at 60 mph, does that count?
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I hit an automobile hood that blew out the back of a pick-up truck at highway speeds 130 km hr. Nowhere to go but over it. Busy 4 lane with cars in every direction. Thought for sure I was dead. Rode it out, wasn’t my turn to die I guess…
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I’m glad I was young when I T-boned an LTD and ran into the rear of a dump truck.
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A cat with its head stuck in a can crossing the road.
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Almost ran over a roadkill porcupine coming out of a dusty corner, that would’ve stung.
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A huge owl when I was a teenager. It swooped down in front of me. My little bro was on back. I ducked and it hit him right in the head, busted his faceshield and gave him two black eyes.
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I was in a pack of traffic when there was a sudden huge cloud of dust ahead. Cars started swerving – out of my lane – yep, I was headed right for it! No room to swerve to another lane – hit the brakes as much as I could before I got to the dust cloud. Blew through it, and saw the remains of… a SHOP VACUUM, rolling along on its wheels next to me at 40 mph like R2-friggin-D2 joined the Hell’s Angels.
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Ran into a kid on a bicycle many years ago. I was putting pretty slow because 2 little kids were all over the place on their bikes. I’m just starting to pass one of them on his left when he suddenly jerks the bike to the left- right in front of me. So- I hit him. He was OK, but I was PO’d.

OK. Till next time . . . ride aware. And keep your fingers crossed.

Biker Quote for Today

Honk if you’ve never seen a gun fired from a motorcycle.

“Accidents caused by the infrastructure account for 14% of the total according to MAIDS.”

That quote in a press release caught my eye. I’m signed up to receive press releases from a lot of organizations and this latest one is from the ACEM, the European Motorcycle Industry. MAIDS is the Motorcycle Accidents In-Depth Study which analyzed more than 900 motorcycle and moped accidents during the period 1999-2003 in five sampling areas located in France, Germany, Netherlands, Spain and Italy.

The release went on to say “Poor conditions of many European roads and city streets and the fact that PTW’s specific needs are still often neglected in road engineering are the main reasons for this situation. Rider behaviour in addressing each situation plays therefore a major role in PTW safety.”

PTW, by the way, stands for “powered two wheelers.”

So how often do you think about accidents being caused by poorly designed or maintained roadways? That really doesn’t cross my mind at all, so to see that 14 percent of motorcycle accidents are blamed on the infrastructure is an eye-opener. And it demonstrates the value that can come out of the new motorcycle safety study here in the U.S. If recurring types of such defects can be identified then municipalities and other governmental entities can be more aware of the need to rectify these situations.

At the same time, I consider this argument a little specious. Each of us is responsible at all times for our own safety. If you crashed on a piece of road and someone else didn’t, you did something wrong, while they did the same thing right. We can’t count on all roads we ride being perfect so you’d better ride in control at all times and respond to reality. The life you save may be your own.

Recent from National Motorcycle Examiner
Basket-case motorcycle restoration: Hard work, and then satisfaction

Biker Quote for Today

When in doubt, slow down. No one has ever hit something too slow.

All righty, time again for the weirdest stuff bikers have hit or almost hit. As always, these adventures come from a thread on the Adventure Riders forum. We’ll dive right in.
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Back in the ’80s I was riding with a friend in Southern California. We were blitzing down a highway and he ran over a half-eaten burrito still in the bag some prick tossed out. He kicked it up with his rear tire and it slapped me in the face. I had my visor open and when I got the wet, stinky slap..it managed to come unwrapped to some degree and spray fermented bean and other assorted fillings upside my face and helmet.
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It was night, doin’ about 50 down Rt 20 with helmet and shield when I see something diving for my light, tried to duck, hit me square in the visor, liked to knocked me off the bike, blood, guts mess, I wipe away, something sharp in visor. I get back to the garage and I found the beak of what I think was a hummingbird snapped off, inbedded in the visor, and penetrated it by about 1/4 inch.
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Here in Phoenix on the I-10 I was able to barely avoid a new computer in a box that fell from the back of a truck I was following. Thankfully I tend to keep plenty of room and I was just changing lanes. The combination of the two saved my bacon. It was close, as I felt it graze my left boot.
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Four of us were riding in northern Wisconsin. We were on dual-sports in the woods on partially overgrown two-track. A black bear sprung from the brush. Stories vary if you listen to rider #3 who hit it and rider #4 who saw it about whether it came from the right or left. Regardless, the bear ran along side the cycle for a few steps then cut in front of the front tire. The bear was t-boned and somersaulted. The bike when down and the rider went over the handlebars. Rider #4 said his first thought was what he should do when the bear stood up and faced them. But the bear did immediately run off. The whole event was only 4-5 seconds.
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While competing in an observed trial recently a bee flew into my face as I was riding the loop trail. It hit perfectly between my cheek and the liner of my open face helmet and wedged itself in just below my right ear. Not only was it stinging me repeatedly but the sound of an angry bee inside my helmet right by my ear was nearly deafening. As I was approaching the next section I stepped off my still moving bike and pulled my helmet off, threw it down wile swatting alongside my head and swearing loudly. The observer probably thought I was having a flashback to a bad acid trip.
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I was behind a moving caravan (weekend drunken buddies in multiple trucks) when the tail gate came down dumping the items from the bed into my path. I was far enough behind to have plenty of time and watch the entertainment as the lawnmower came rolling out…followed by the dryer…..followed by the chest of drawers…….
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Turkey in flight. I followed it down a dirt road at 20 miles an hour, for nearly 50 yards, right on its tail feathers. They should stick to walking, they can’t fly for shit.
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This morning I missed going thru a gaggle of geese. There must have been 50 crossing geese crossing the road 3 to 4 deep. I came around the curve at 70 mph and there they were. I went thru them, but missed hitting any of them. They scattered around and went on off the road before anything else happened.
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I was hauling ass down a fire road in my younger days, just about to run over a yucca stalk when it started wiggling. It was a friggin 6′ rattlesnake sunning itself on the road.
I don’t think I helped it any hitting it square in the middle but I didn’t stop to ask if he was OK.
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Scored a double point bonus last week in Waco. I was coming down the road next to the Dr. Pepper Museum when a squirrel and a pursuing angry sparrow came right in my path. I hit both at the same time. Sparrow bounced off, and continued to fly, squirrel not so lucky.
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One moonless night I wast east bound on Texas 290 just outside Houston. There it is a two lane with median barrier and brand new. A truck was stopped on the right shoulder with its back up lights on. I was in the right lane clipping along at my usuall 80 MPH and moved into the left lane to give a wide berth. Suddenly I realized they were stopped because they had just dropped a dark blue love seat in the middle of the left lane. I dropped anchor and was able to serve around the thing but it was close.

If you will notice, there is always a bunch of trash on the road around the end of the month. This is because this is when people move themselves from one residence to another.
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Riding down through Pennsylvania to visit a friend in Bethlehem, a loud ‘thwack’ announced the impact of a firefly on my face shield, then two more. I shut the lights off for a moment to confirm that the green glowing effect all over my field of vision was not a hallucination.
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Here are the other flying object posts:
Motorcycles and Flying Objects
More Flying Object Tales
Latest Tales of Flying Object Encounters
Even More Tales of Flying Objects
Look! Up in the Sky! More Flying Object Tales
Did You See What I Almost Hit?

Recent from National Motorcycle Examiner
Motorcycle rides retracing vanished highways

Biker Quote for Today

In the end, it’s all about the stories.

My all-time favorite motorcycle forum thread is the one on Adventure Riders where people tell about the bizarre things they hit or almost hit while on their bikes. Let’s see what new stories have been added recently.

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The worst crash I ever had on asphalt was from a head on at highway speed with a diving owl. I went right over the back for a long tumble/slide into the ditch. That was followed by riding a very bent bike to the ER to deal with the beak hole in my chest that it left THROUGH my snow mobile suit. Birds are no joke. Hate that movie.

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Well I tagged a Blackbird today, it did not seem very hard and I carried on my merry way, when I got home a friend was waiting for me, “What have you hit?” he asked “Why” “You have blood and guts all over the bike” and on me too, there were bits of meat dropping off me, oh well at least it did not suffer any pain, glad it wasn’t any bigger.

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Yesterday my bud and I rode to Canyonlands NP and back home, about a 300 mile day. Winds kicked up really strong on the way home, like 35 gusting to 50. We slowed down after coming around a corner to find a sand dune had formed a foot deep clear across our lane. An hour later, I saw this weirdness ahead. An entire irrigation sideroll had come loose and was rolling toward us!

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Fellow I know and was rooming with – riding a long distance motorcycle rally: Riding down the super slab at night, he was dangling his feet from his ST1100, to relieve leg cramps. Suddenly, WHAM, his foot is hit by something on the pavement. Stopping to evaluate, he notices porcupine quills spiked in to his riding boots.

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Almost collected a bighorn in the Big Bend country as I crested a hill on a blind curve. He kicked a lot of rocks onto the road (a mini-landslide) as he scrambled up the hillside, causing a small lumo in my throat as I negotiated the curve. Definitely an “almost ouch”!

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A boulder rolling down a hill on highway 20 going towards Truckee. It was travelling in a straight line right in the middle of the lane, going about 20mph. It was huge, I was afraid to pass it in case it took a wierd wobble and crushed me. I followed it for at least a quarter mile before it went off the side.

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a baby doll wraped in a blanket. For a second I thought it was a real baby.

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Coming back from the poverty riders ” mo bottom” rally last year I had a buzzard take off from the roadside as I approached. He flew right over the white side line till I got even with him then banked hard and kamakzied into my front wheel. Knocked me into the other lane but no crash.

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While riding through the East Bay this week, a chicken committed suicide by running into the side of my bike. My friend, riding behind me, said he didn’t see thing until the chicken exploded. I didn’t see it, but there were chicken feathers stuck to the bottom of the bike.

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Hit a bat once, about 35 mph, in the hours just before it got way too dark. He was quite surprised about it too. And yet hung on to my jacket for a good minute or two.

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Several hundred honey bees. I was riding about 35 mph on a street near the San Diego Zoo when I ran through the swarm. Within seconds my my jacket, pants, face shield, gloves, everything were coated with bees. That was when I found out swarming bees don’t sting (luckily). If they had been the African variety it would have been life-threatening instead of just unusual.

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Hit an Elk at 45 with a Colorado State Patrol right behind me. Tucked the front under him and broke its legs. That one hurt.
Hit an Extension ladder on the 280 in Cali (San Jose). Talk about Hangtime!

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couple of years ago…. large sheet of painters plastic in the highway, kicked up just perfectly by a cage in front of me. Hung there like a shower curtain as I plowed right into it. Had to move over three lanes blindly, through traffic, to get to the right hand shoulder and stop so I could peel it off of me and the bike

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Yow! My encounters have been pretty tame compared to those. That’s fine with me.

Here are the other flying object posts:
Motorcycles and Flying Objects
More Flying Object Tales
Latest Tales of Flying Object Encounters
Even More Tales of Flying Objects
Look! Up in the Sky! More Flying Object Tales

Biker Quote for Today

Murphy is alive and well, living in my saddlebags, and waiting for an opportunity to kill me.

And we’re back once again with tales of the things bikers have hit or barely avoided. Again, I give credit to this thread at Adventure Riders. Let’s do it.

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A huge owl when i was a teenager. It swooped down in front of me my little bro was on back. I ducked and it hit him right in the head busted his faceshield and gave him two black eyes.

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Was stationed in the Panama Canal Zone in early ’70s. Came around a corner and a very large buzzard took flight, hit me in the chest and knocked me right off the back of my Yamaha RD350. Fortunately I was only going about 20mph or so. Took three other guys to help me get the bike out of the jungle and back on the road. BTW buzzards really stink!

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Early in the morning 280 freeway out of san jose. fast lane coming up on a construction truck with your normal shovel, rakes and wheel barrel in the back. the latter decided to come out of the bed. changed lanes cause i saw it tumbling. but in its tumbling the wheel hit i think at an angle and sent it tumbling across the lanes. was able to avoid it though. didn’t need any coffee that morning when i got to work. wide awake.

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Last summer, I took the bike down CA-1 to the SocalSVRiders.org Gathering of the Masses. I spent Friday riding down the coast, and started out early from my hotel on Saturday morning to head through Ventura and on down. I was in a pack of traffic when there was a sudden huge cloud of dust ahead. Cars started swerving – out of my lane – yep, I was headed right for it! No room to swerve to another lane – hit the brakes as much as I could before I got to the dust cloud. Blew through it, and saw the remains of… a SHOP VACUUM, rolling along on its wheels next to me at 40 mph like R2-friggin-D2 joined the Hell’s Angels.

I giggled all the way to San Clemente.

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Got hit with an Egg McMuffin last year.
Almost ran over a roadkill porcupine coming out of a dusty corner, that would’ve stung.
Lost count of how many snappers I’ve seen.

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A rabbit- it had idly hopped out on the road when it saw my headlight ( 1 am) – it seemed frozen by the light. I was doing a little over 100mph and I did try to get around it- it would have worked but the rabbit decided to jump into the light. Took out the light and I found out that no light is a bad idea at this speed ….But nothing major happened, was already quite slow but still vertical when I left the road. The RG500Gamma did not like it.

A soccer ball coming from a garden – bounced off my head. I scored a goal! (The ball went directly through the glass of the door of the house… Talk about some explaining to do. (The owner of the house wasn’t too pleased)
Nothing happened to the bike, I had a sore neck.

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Hiway 154 Ca. Northbound. Windy Twisty road going by Lake Cachuma on my 92 K75s. 2 am in da morning. Riding into a long left sweeper going 75 to 80 leaning offf the bike to the left as I am half way into the sweeper that is blind due to a hillside on the left I miss a human head! The head is at my helmet height and we see each other EYE to EYE! Miss by inches!

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Couple weeks back dropped the Strom as I crested an uphill blind tight left hander. As the road came back into view all I have is a face full of Bicycles. Ran wide off the corner into the gravel and the front tire folded – Bamm hit the deck. Now this is a road 25 miles from where I live.

One of the bicyclist comes running over and helps me pick up my bike and says: “Sorry If I caused you to crash.”

I looked at him and said: Jay?

He looks back says: Chuck?

We know each other… What are the odds?
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So be careful out there! Here are the other flying object posts:
Motorcycles and Flying Objects
More Flying Object Tales
Latest Tales of Flying Object Encounters
Even More Tales of Flying Objects

Biker Quote for Today

Catching a yellow jacket in your shirt @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.